On Sat, 04 Jan 2014 12:59:18 -0000, Tony Harrison <a.harrison@tesco.net> wrote: > Do not take to heart one person's lack of gratitude, it could well be > your research messed up their perceived family history and meant they > had to > revise their tree. Hi Tony, As always, it's good to hear from you. In this case, I don't think there was a family tree to be messed up as not a lot was known about the family members, whose details I found, and my correspondent wasn't into family research as much as we are on this list, > We all have benefitted from information you have kindly researched and > passed on together with the source so please continue to help us. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I have also had a lot of help from the list and from the archives of other lists, which I browse. > Hope your computer can be restored to good health. Ian is out seeking advice as I write. I hope he finds it as the sound this PC is making is not good for my ears! Josephine
On 04/01/2014 12:22, Josephine Jeremiah wrote: Josephin Dear girl, I think I have been a subscriber to both Avon and Somerset for close to 40 years and have always valued your contributions. I would like to help with bringing your computer back into commission. Please send me your e-mail address so that I can do it in private. With my best wishes..........Reg Harris > Hi Listers, > > In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family > history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is > now, but I helped as much as I could. > > Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past > family members and asking for any information about them. This went into > the rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future. > > By 2011, new family records had become available so I thought of my > correspondent and found three marriages, two births and two baptisms, > which I sent off plus details of a site where further information could be > found on 19th-century family members. > > I did not receive a reply at the time, but now nearly three years later I > have received one. > > It turns out that my correspondent, rather than being pleased with the new > information, was annoyed with me for 'checking' on these family members > and had decided not to contact me any more. > > So I am in a dilemma, now, concerning other requests for family history > information which I receive almost daily, off list, from people who have > found my posts in the rootsweb archives. > > I now feel I don't want to carry on helping people, but it's not in my > nature to be dismissive when someone, often a complete stranger, asks for > help. > > I have the added problem that my main computer which is used for research > and e-mail has broken down, yet again, after only a year's use. I'm > currently using an old and very noisy computer, which is also very slow > and liable to break down, too. > > It's a dilemma I'll have to work out for myself, I know, but in the > meantime I may not be helping out, as much as I formerly did. I think that > I need to take a break as this has caused me much distress. > > Josephine > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message > > > ----- > No virus found in this message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 2014.0.4259 / Virus Database: 3658/6974 - Release Date: 01/03/14 > >
On Sat, 04 Jan 2014 12:47:31 -0000, <gilesoakley@tiscali.co.uk> wrote: > Well, that's a sad tale you have to tell. What a poor return for your > efforts. I know how much help you give to other people so it's a > downright shame if you become disillusioned. Hi Giles, Thanks for your reply. Yes, it is a sad tale but also a cautionary one, too, as I noted in the subject of my message. Perhaps we need to be more wary when we try to help people because we don't know how our research will be accepted. Once, I helped someone with their family history only to find that, at the end of a lengthy correspondence, what I'd discovered didn't appear to be believed! > Family history research often throws up stories where our relations have > behaved badly, or even criminally, so if there is one general lesson to > be learned, it's that it takes all sorts. You've reminded me that I recently found out that a direct ancestor was sentenced to 21 days' hard labour and two years in a reformatory. I've passed the information on to some other relatives, but I can see how anyone else could well be annoyed if I'd found out something similar about an ancestor of theirs! If I did discover something like this, about another person's ancestor, I probably wouldn't pass it on because I wouldn't want to cause offence. > With all good wishes for 2014 Thank you, Giles, and the same to you and all listers. Josephine
On Sat, 04 Jan 2014 12:47:00 -0000, Paddy Buckley <paddy.buckley@lineone.net> wrote: > Over the years you have helped me many times, not only with my own > family requests, but also with your frequent contributions to the B & S > group. Your dilemma is alas familiar to those of us who also have > suffered an unkind disregard from those we have helped. I hope you > will not retreat into your shell. And I hope that your main computer > can soon be fettled. Hi Paddy, Thanks for your kind words. I must admit that this morning I did indeed have thoughts of retreating into my shell, not only because I felt upset, after another sleepless night, but because it is so difficult to do much on the old PC I am reduced to using. My husband has been trying to fix our newer computer for over a month but it keeps on crashing just when he thinks that he's solved what's wrong with it. I like reading local newspapers on line as I often find interesting information in them which I like to pass on, but using the old PC to read them isn't very enjoyable at the moment. Josephine
I have to jump in here, too. Josephine, you helped me so very much with my English ancestors (and others on this list did as well, from handwriting translation to just general encouragement) and I always endeavor to say "thanks" for any help. You even kindly chatted with me about your old cat while I was losing mine. If you don't get an expression of gratitude from me, it's because someone has taken me hostage, honestly. For months, I had a dry erase board propped up, covered with all my Stone and Bright branches on it, every name, date and place courtesy of your time and help. Several times I have shared photos or information that either went evidently unappreciated or showed up on their ancestry tree without my knowledge, sometimes with my own unconfirmed "facts" accompanying them. This is now duplicated all over the planet via the internet. Many of these things were given to me by others, so it's doubly annoying that they were also part of it through me trying to be helpful. My cousins have gone through it many times, too. It's unfortunate that we can't anticipate people's ignorance. Usually the last time such people contact me directly follows my sending some great photo that I took after driving who knows how far, or a very helpful detail. I will only repeat what others have said here, as I try to do it myself...9 out of 10 of the people I have encountered were generous and decent, and I have to try to ignore that rotten one percent that make my teeth grind. And good luck with your computer!!! Cindy PA, USA ________________________________________ From: bristol_and_somerset-bounces@rootsweb.com [bristol_and_somerset-bounces@rootsweb.com] on behalf of Salter, Colin [colin.salter@blueyonder.co.uk] Sent: Saturday, January 04, 2014 8:48 AM To: MillieB&D; bristol_and_somerset@rootsweb.com Subject: Re: [B&S] Helping other people with their family trees Hear hear! On Saturday, 4 January 2014, MillieB&D <millie@reallyhelpful.info> wrote: > Hello Josephine > > Please don’t be disheartened. Some people are just plain rude. For my part I have found your contribution to this site invaluable and you have helped me in the past. In fact, whenever I get stuck or want to know some general fact I immediately think “I bet that Josephine will know”!!! > > Rest assured that most of us really appreciate your efforts. > > Regards > Millie > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message ______________________________________________________________________ This email has been scanned by the Symantec Email Security.cloud service. For more information please visit http://www.symanteccloud.com ______________________________________________________________________
On Sat, 04 Jan 2014 12:44:21 -0000, Nivard Ovington <ovington.one@gmail.com> wrote: > Continue to help others as *you* feel fit > I am often surprised but lately resigned to the lack of response you get > when helping others, Hi Nivard, Thank you for your response. After many years helping with family history on and off list, like you I am also resigned to the fact that there is often a lack of response. But the lack of response in this case seems to have been a decision not to make contact again with me because I had annoyed my correspondent by finding the new information. I'm using the word 'annoyed' but the actual word used was one, which I would not use, myself, which accounts partly for my distress. Josephine
Hear hear! On Saturday, 4 January 2014, MillieB&D <millie@reallyhelpful.info> wrote: > Hello Josephine > > Please don’t be disheartened. Some people are just plain rude. For my part I have found your contribution to this site invaluable and you have helped me in the past. In fact, whenever I get stuck or want to know some general fact I immediately think “I bet that Josephine will know”!!! > > Rest assured that most of us really appreciate your efforts. > > Regards > Millie > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message
Hello Josephine Please don’t be disheartened. Some people are just plain rude. For my part I have found your contribution to this site invaluable and you have helped me in the past. In fact, whenever I get stuck or want to know some general fact I immediately think “I bet that Josephine will know”!!! Rest assured that most of us really appreciate your efforts. Regards Millie
l had a similar experience with a "new" cousin, with whom I shared information. After we had done so, I added her name to my notes, which I then sent her. She went off the deep end about privacy and betrayal of trust, even though they were private notes not intended for publication. l removed all trace in deference to her feelings. But we lost touch and it left a bad feeling.I'm over it now and as happy as ever to help and share privately. Hope you get past it soon to. Colin, Edinbugh. On Saturday, 4 January 2014, Colin Brown <colinbrown5059@gmail.com> wrote: > The majority of us are grateful for all the help we receive from our fellow > enthusiasts. Some folk can be difficult though, can't they? We don't know > what's going on in their lives so when they appear ungrateful or even rude > perhaps they need to be cut a little slack. Some years ago a correspondent > responded to my efforts by accusing me of being condescending (among other > things) so I wrote back and apologised assuring her I was only trying to > help. Apparently she was having a really bad time and was somewhat > over-sensitive. We had a really good chat after that. > > -----Original Message----- > From: bristol_and_somerset-bounces@rootsweb.com > [mailto:bristol_and_somerset-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of Josephine > Jeremiah > Sent: 04 January 2014 12:23 > To: bristol_and_somerset@rootsweb.com > Subject: [B&S] A cautionary tale about helping with other people's family > history > > Hi Listers, > > In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family > history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is > now, but I helped as much as I could. > > Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past family > members and asking for any information about them. This went into the > rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future. > > By 2011, new family records had become available so I thought of my > correspondent and found three marriages, two births and two baptisms, which > I sent off plus details of a site where further information could be found > on 19th-century family members. > > I did not receive a reply at the time, but now nearly three years later I > have received one. > > It turns out that my correspondent, rather than being pleased with the new > information, was annoyed with me for 'checking' on these family members and > had decided not to contact me any more. > > So I am in a dilemma, now, concerning other requests for family history > information which I receive almost daily, off list, from people who have > found my posts in the rootsweb archives. > > I now feel I don't want to carry on helping people, but it's not in my > nature to be dismissive when someone, often a complete stranger, asks for > help. > > I have the added problem that my main computer which is used for research > and e-mail has broken down, yet again, after only a year's use. I'm > currently using an old and very noisy computer, which is also very slow and > liable to break down, too. > > It's a dilemma I'll have to work out for myself, I know, but in the meantime > I may not be helping out, as much as I formerly did. I think that I need to > take a break as this has caused me much distress. > > Josephine > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' > without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message > > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message >
Sadly, there are many rude people with a sense of entitlement in our world. Josephine Jeremiah has kindly helped hundreds find their roots. After five years of brick walls she helped with a wealth of info on my Tovey/Bowdich family and I will always be appreciative of her selfless efforts. Barbra Pappas
The majority of us are grateful for all the help we receive from our fellow enthusiasts. Some folk can be difficult though, can't they? We don't know what's going on in their lives so when they appear ungrateful or even rude perhaps they need to be cut a little slack. Some years ago a correspondent responded to my efforts by accusing me of being condescending (among other things) so I wrote back and apologised assuring her I was only trying to help. Apparently she was having a really bad time and was somewhat over-sensitive. We had a really good chat after that. -----Original Message----- From: bristol_and_somerset-bounces@rootsweb.com [mailto:bristol_and_somerset-bounces@rootsweb.com] On Behalf Of Josephine Jeremiah Sent: 04 January 2014 12:23 To: bristol_and_somerset@rootsweb.com Subject: [B&S] A cautionary tale about helping with other people's family history Hi Listers, In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is now, but I helped as much as I could. Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past family members and asking for any information about them. This went into the rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future. By 2011, new family records had become available so I thought of my correspondent and found three marriages, two births and two baptisms, which I sent off plus details of a site where further information could be found on 19th-century family members. I did not receive a reply at the time, but now nearly three years later I have received one. It turns out that my correspondent, rather than being pleased with the new information, was annoyed with me for 'checking' on these family members and had decided not to contact me any more. So I am in a dilemma, now, concerning other requests for family history information which I receive almost daily, off list, from people who have found my posts in the rootsweb archives. I now feel I don't want to carry on helping people, but it's not in my nature to be dismissive when someone, often a complete stranger, asks for help. I have the added problem that my main computer which is used for research and e-mail has broken down, yet again, after only a year's use. I'm currently using an old and very noisy computer, which is also very slow and liable to break down, too. It's a dilemma I'll have to work out for myself, I know, but in the meantime I may not be helping out, as much as I formerly did. I think that I need to take a break as this has caused me much distress. Josephine ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message
Hi Josephine Do not take to heart one person's lack of gratitude, it could well be your research messed up their perceived family history and meant they had to revise their tree. As we all have found people find other peoples inaccurate research usually without source and add it without checking to their tree. We all have benefitted from information you have kindly researched and passed on together with the source so please continue to help us. Hope your computer can be restored to good health. Best wishes Tony -----Original Message----- From: Josephine Jeremiah Sent: Saturday, January 04, 2014 12:22 PM To: bristol_and_somerset@rootsweb.com Subject: [B&S] A cautionary tale about helping with other people's familyhistory Hi Listers, In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is now, but I helped as much as I could.
Hi Josephine, Well, that's a sad tale you have to tell. What a poor return for your efforts. I know how much help you give to other people so it's a downright shame if you become disillusioned. So many grateful folks would be deprived of your knowledge and experience if you become less involved. Family history research often throws up stories where our relations have behaved badly, or even criminally, so if there is one general lesson to be learned, it's that it takes all sorts. You never know what you're going to turn up next - and that evidently includes fellow researchers! I hope you don't become permanently disheartened by this one rotten apple. It would be amusing if you named and shamed this individual, but it's probably best not to (sadly...) With all good wishes for 2014 Best regards Giles -----Original Message----- From: Josephine Jeremiah Sent: Saturday, January 04, 2014 12:22 PM To: bristol_and_somerset@rootsweb.com Subject: [B&S] A cautionary tale about helping with other people's familyhistory Hi Listers, In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is now, but I helped as much as I could. Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past family members and asking for any information about them. This went into the rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future. By 2011, new family records had become available so I thought of my correspondent and found three marriages, two births and two baptisms, which I sent off plus details of a site where further information could be found on 19th-century family members. I did not receive a reply at the time, but now nearly three years later I have received one. It turns out that my correspondent, rather than being pleased with the new information, was annoyed with me for 'checking' on these family members and had decided not to contact me any more. So I am in a dilemma, now, concerning other requests for family history information which I receive almost daily, off list, from people who have found my posts in the rootsweb archives. I now feel I don't want to carry on helping people, but it's not in my nature to be dismissive when someone, often a complete stranger, asks for help. I have the added problem that my main computer which is used for research and e-mail has broken down, yet again, after only a year's use. I'm currently using an old and very noisy computer, which is also very slow and liable to break down, too. It's a dilemma I'll have to work out for myself, I know, but in the meantime I may not be helping out, as much as I formerly did. I think that I need to take a break as this has caused me much distress. Josephine ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message
Dear Josephine Over the years you have helped me many times, not only with my own family requests, but also with your frequent contributions to the B & S group. Your dilemma is alas familiar to those of us who also have suffered an unkind disregard from those we have helped. I hope you will not retreat into your shell. And I hope that your main computer can soon be fettled. Paddy Buckley -----Original Message----- From: Josephine Jeremiah Sent: Saturday, January 04, 2014 12:22 PM To: bristol_and_somerset@rootsweb.com Subject: [B&S] A cautionary tale about helping with other people's familyhistory Hi Listers, In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is now, but I helped as much as I could. Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past family members and asking for any information about them. This went into the rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future. By 2011, new family records had become available so I thought of my correspondent and found three marriages, two births and two baptisms, which I sent off plus details of a site where further information could be found on 19th-century family members. I did not receive a reply at the time, but now nearly three years later I have received one. It turns out that my correspondent, rather than being pleased with the new information, was annoyed with me for 'checking' on these family members and had decided not to contact me any more. So I am in a dilemma, now, concerning other requests for family history information which I receive almost daily, off list, from people who have found my posts in the rootsweb archives. I now feel I don't want to carry on helping people, but it's not in my nature to be dismissive when someone, often a complete stranger, asks for help. I have the added problem that my main computer which is used for research and e-mail has broken down, yet again, after only a year's use. I'm currently using an old and very noisy computer, which is also very slow and liable to break down, too. It's a dilemma I'll have to work out for myself, I know, but in the meantime I may not be helping out, as much as I formerly did. I think that I need to take a break as this has caused me much distress. Josephine ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message
Hi Josephine First thing to say, please do not take it to heart, people are very varied in all walks of life, most are good but a minority are thoughtless or down right rude Continue to help others as *you* feel fit I am often surprised but lately resigned to the lack of response you get when helping others, it used to very much annoy me that people would not even have the courtesy to say thank you or even that they already had the information, it seems a basic courtesy drilled into me from a very young age I sat back and thought, why am I doing this, was it for plaudits or thank you's, and the answer was no, I enjoy helping others in the small ways I am able to Of course it is gratifying when someone comes back to you to say thank you but thats not what I do it for, so will continue regardless Truth be told I enjoy "the hunt" The fact is that if you or I can find it, then so can anyone else, its just knowing how or having the good fortune to find something and know who wants it If your correspondent can't realise that I would simply move on and leave them to stew Continue to enjoy what you do, as I shall and good luck to you in your research also Nivard Ovington in Cornwall (UK) On 04/01/2014 12:22, Josephine Jeremiah wrote: > Hi Listers, > > In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family > history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is > now, but I helped as much as I could. > > Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past > family members and asking for any information about them. This went into > the rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future.
Hi Listers, In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is now, but I helped as much as I could. Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past family members and asking for any information about them. This went into the rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future. By 2011, new family records had become available so I thought of my correspondent and found three marriages, two births and two baptisms, which I sent off plus details of a site where further information could be found on 19th-century family members. I did not receive a reply at the time, but now nearly three years later I have received one. It turns out that my correspondent, rather than being pleased with the new information, was annoyed with me for 'checking' on these family members and had decided not to contact me any more. So I am in a dilemma, now, concerning other requests for family history information which I receive almost daily, off list, from people who have found my posts in the rootsweb archives. I now feel I don't want to carry on helping people, but it's not in my nature to be dismissive when someone, often a complete stranger, asks for help. I have the added problem that my main computer which is used for research and e-mail has broken down, yet again, after only a year's use. I'm currently using an old and very noisy computer, which is also very slow and liable to break down, too. It's a dilemma I'll have to work out for myself, I know, but in the meantime I may not be helping out, as much as I formerly did. I think that I need to take a break as this has caused me much distress. Josephine
Hi Mike Possibly "Knitter" Nivard Ovington in Cornwall (UK) On 04/01/2014 10:46, Mike Gould wrote: > Hi All, > > Can anyone give me some help in deciphering handwriting in the 1841 census ? > > Emborrow (Emborough) HO 107/939/7 p.2 has : > > Mary GOOLD, 60, ???, Y > > Ann GOOLD, 40, ???, Y > > Can anyone suggest what the occupations are for Mary and Ann ? > > Best wishes, > > Mike Gould > Leicestershire
Hi All, Can anyone give me some help in deciphering handwriting in the 1841 census ? Emborrow (Emborough) HO 107/939/7 p.2 has : Mary GOOLD, 60, ???, Y Ann GOOLD, 40, ???, Y Can anyone suggest what the occupations are for Mary and Ann ? Best wishes, Mike Gould Leicestershire
Hello Josephine I am so sorry to hear that you have been so badly treated when all you want to do is help people. I know you have helped me in the past and it has been much appreciated. Please do not lose heart you are a blessing to so many. I'm sorry to hear about your computer problems too, that must be very frustrating. Happy New Year to you Josephine. Best wishes, Lin In a message dated 04/01/2014 12:24:22 GMT Standard Time, jojeremiah@dsl.pipex.com writes: Hi Listers, In 2000, I corresponded with someone a number of times about their family history. Back then there wasn't as much information available as there is now, but I helped as much as I could. Subsequently, my correspondent put a message on rootsweb naming past family members and asking for any information about them. This went into the rootsweb archives and is available for anyone to see now or the future. By 2011, new family records had become available so I thought of my correspondent and found three marriages, two births and two baptisms, which I sent off plus details of a site where further information could be found on 19th-century family members. I did not receive a reply at the time, but now nearly three years later I have received one. It turns out that my correspondent, rather than being pleased with the new information, was annoyed with me for 'checking' on these family members and had decided not to contact me any more. So I am in a dilemma, now, concerning other requests for family history information which I receive almost daily, off list, from people who have found my posts in the rootsweb archives. I now feel I don't want to carry on helping people, but it's not in my nature to be dismissive when someone, often a complete stranger, asks for help. I have the added problem that my main computer which is used for research and e-mail has broken down, yet again, after only a year's use. I'm currently using an old and very noisy computer, which is also very slow and liable to break down, too. It's a dilemma I'll have to work out for myself, I know, but in the meantime I may not be helping out, as much as I formerly did. I think that I need to take a break as this has caused me much distress. Josephine ------------------------------- To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message
I agree. I used to feel very sad, thinking about those of my relatives who had passed away because I missed them. I still do, of course, but my family history 'hobby' (obsession) gradually revealed the bigger picture - that not only did many come before me but also many will come after me; what gives me the greatest pleasure is to be the chronicler of our many lives :-) Happy New Year! Karen > From: liverpud-49@rogers.com > To: Bristol_and_Somerset@rootsweb.com > Date: Thu, 2 Jan 2014 12:01:43 -0500 > Subject: [B&S] Well said... from Family Tree Magazine Christmas 2013 > > > An excerpt from Family Tree Magazine article in Christmas 2013 issue by Diane Lindsay: > > "It's hard for the non-family historian to understand our hobby is a celebration of all our ancestors and that rather than piling the weight of mortality on our shoulders, it mostly makes us feel glad to be alive, to be part of a pattern, an unceasing patchwork of life, love and loss. For me, acceptance that you can't have one without the other brings comfort and understanding of where we fit into The Great Scheme of Things". > > Well said. > > Edna - Ottawa > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to BRISTOL_AND_SOMERSET-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message