To our experienced computer genealogists ~~ We already have and will have new cousins in our ranks who are brand new to genealogy and/or to computing. It's so exciting to be able to join the ranks of one's peers in a common goal; on the other hand, it's hard to adjust to someone who jumps in without really knowing how "to play" the game. Novices and well-experienced ~ I'd like to remind you of "those" days back when ... when you were feeling those funny quirks of 'how-do-I's'... Remember when you first started genealogy ~ how everything was rather confusing for a while? Then, when you jumped on the Web with that first computer? ... your first email discussion list? ... "All these people know more than I do. What AM I doing here???" "How do _I_ make a query?" "What if what I say is dumb?" "These people all sound so smart; if I say anything I'm gonna sound like a real dummy!" "What was it I'm supposed to say again?" "Where ARE all these sites everyone is talking about? ... and where do I find that Web site called URL?" "If I just read the messages, nobody will know I'm here. I can't foul anything up that way and nobody can make fun of or yell at me." Newbies, do you ask yourselves these very questions at the present? Do you feel intimidated, nervous and/or ignorant, while everyone is confident and smart? Well, I'm here to tell you that every single one of us "confident and smart" people have been in PRECISELY the same spot you're in right now! You're a newbie or a novice, not sure of what you're doing here, but know you want to find your lines. You don't know much about genealogy, hardly anything about your lines, are scared to death to say anything or post your data, so you do what's called 'lurking'. You know there's a roll call but don't know where to send it, and even if you do, you're afraid you're going to do it wrong because you've never done it before. So you don't bother to send one in. And queries?.... "What are those? Am I allowed to make one?" On the average I receive 2-3 messages a week reading something akin to the above two paragraphs. This is a message from the heart meant and targeted directly to all you newbies and some of you novices. You need to know that the fear and intimidation you feel posting messages to the list are exactly what I felt....what everyone feels - no more and no less. Every experienced researcher had to walk the fire. I know your fears and worries. I know your concern of intimidation. I wore all those labels I'm sure, right in the middle of my forehead. I teach genealogy today in schools and I do guest speaking at seminars. When I talk to newbies I understand your confusion; I was confused for months! The internet can be a scary 'place'. It's hard to tell in an email whether or not someone is joking, or serious and dumping on you. You newbies still have your lessons to learn but now you're doing it behind a keyboard and monitor. But you have one advantange over a lot of others...... You belong to the BOWER discussion list family. When you joined this list, you joined a family. You did not just join a list full of people who care only about themselves and their own research. You joined an international family of cousins who feel EXACTLY the same as you, at first scared, intimidated and nervous -- no matter what country we're from. We ALL want to find our lines, but we Bower/Bauer, etc. descendants have something special in us -- we take care of our own. If you're a newbie or a novice, you're a treasure to we experienced researchers. Are you aware of that? ANY little scrap of information offered up is valuable. Even scraps, once pulled together, will help fit puzzle pieces together. That's why you newbies are so important. You tend to provide many of those tiny bits of family info that a lot of us long-time researchers haven't been able to find in records. ["Oh this? It was in my Grannie's Bible! I didn't think it was all that important......."] Actually, most newbies are a wealth of information! The problem is many newbies [and on some lists, even well-experienced researchers] are intimidated by list owners that mandate this and that and subjugate or totally shove aside the newbie because they just don't know what they're doing. The newbie gets hurt or frustrated with the treatment they've received, leaves the list and takes some really important data with him/her. [This is a lose-lose situation. The newbie doesn't have the opportunity to find his/her ancestors and the list membership loses out on information the newbie carries.] To all our newbies, know this..... you WILL NOT be flamed or fired on by anyone in this family, nor will anyone else. You WILL NOT be intimidated or humiliated by anyone, either; likewise, nor will anyone else. Family takes care of family, and we take care of our newbies, our novices, and each other. The penalty for flaming in the family is immediate removal. You may be corrected by someone for TYPING AN ENTIRE MESSAGE ALL IN CAPS [not proper netiquette, by the way, as it's considered yelling] but it will be a constructive and gentle correction. You may be told your query is too wordy to be a query or doesn't contain enough information, but the criticism will be constructive and gentle. You may be told you neglected to put in places or dates in a post or a roll call message, but that also will be constructive and gentle. You will not be picked on, nor will you be subjugated ["you're just a newbie"] or shoved aside like some know-nothing. Know also that you are an extremely important part of this family. No matter how little it may be right now, you bring new familial knowledge to us and with experience, will have the ability to apply it. Please learn from those of us who have walked your path, stay with us and help us to break down the brick walls you keep hearing about. Post your queries, messages and roll calls. Add data to the discussion as you can. Most of all, DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. You'll most assuredly get it here. Don't lurk - participate and learn. After all, it's family....it's what WE'RE all about. Colleen