These are cute! helen johnson <jandh35@charter.net> wrote:From: "helen johnson" To: Subject: Fw: Newspaper Headlines Date: Sat, 30 Aug 2003 08:26:09 -0700 > > Newspaper headlines in the year 2035 > > > > Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh > > largest country in the world, California. > > > > White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's > > third language. > > > > Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock. > > > > Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped. > > > > Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the > > Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) > > > > Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more > > years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. > > > > Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported > > legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. > > > > George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. > > > > Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces >mail delivery to Wednesday only. > > > > 35 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. > > > > Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. > > > > Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. > > > > Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. > > > > New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers, fly > > swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. > > > > Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to > > campaign accounts. > > > > Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. > > > > IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%. > > > > Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine. > > > > --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? The New Yahoo! Shopping - with improved product search