In a message dated 5/11/2002 9:06:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time, zippywebgenie@hotmail.com writes: > My kids used to think I was joking, I think, but the last thing I'd say when > > I left the house is "Don't drink the bleach and don't let anyone steal > you!" > It's weak, but that really is all you can do--other than keep them close > to home and away from pervert-magnets like parks with playgrounds. > > Jan g. > My paranoia is from personal experience. When I was a second grader, ( age 7) an older "friend" of my older brother ( turns out he didn't know my brother) walked me home from school, about 6 long blocks. About 100 yards from the house where I lived were some abandoned sheds (Chicken Coops) and he convinced me that we should "explore them". When he got me out of public site, he sodomized me. This teenager then proceeded with the "if you tell, I will kill your little brothers" speech, and tried to convince me to "meet" him for more. I was able to get away from him and went home and TOLD my mother, and the Police looked for him and didn't find him. I was terrorized for years ( until we moved out of the area) that he would come back and carry out his threats. The whole time that the assault was going on, he was trying to convince me that homosexuality was the way to be. NOW, I am a very cautious father, and STILL can react violently to Homosexual advances. (There were two unrelated later assaults. that renforced this reaction, one another "friend" of my older brother, and nieghbor, his threats ( I had heard them before) were REAL, and he was known to have really damaged some people in the past, I didn't report that one for years after it happened and he was in Prison. This one happened when I was 13.) These affected me to the point where I would NOT use the "group" showers in the highschool locker room, and got into trouble for "being unclean", That forced me to discuss the issue, and when the information came out, I WAS in real trouble for not reporting it, the school principal backed me up however and told my parents of all the assaults the person concerned had done, and THAT person was in my Gym Class. (It was shortly after this he went to prison, as an adult, for ADW and Murder.) So I guess my "developed" homophobia was a natural reaction. I finally adjusted to social contact when I explained my "caution" to a girl friend years later, she arranged for several of her gay friends to come over and help me talk it out, and it did "help" a lot. At least it wasn't "kill on site" anymore, although I still have social discomfort. (About 12 years ago, a girlfriend took me into the Sexual apparel shops in Hollywood, and I had a panic attack, so I knew at that point I was still not easy in the intense environment. I had a Fight or Flight reaction.) It does help to "talk" about the bad experiences, and "get it out" into the light, where it can be seen and dealt with. But the effects can be long lasting, and Buried deeply. Jeffery G. Scism, IBSSG, (http://blacksheep.rootsweb.com) ~~ Coordinator, C h u r c h i l l Nevada U S G e n W e b Site Co-Coordinator, Inmontgo-L, Montgomery County, Indiana, U S G e n W e b Site manager of the following Rootsweb Lists: B l a c k s h e e p, L a n d e s, L a n d i s, P e f f l e y, S c i s m, E n d i c o t t, S h i p w r e c k, Inmontgo (Mont. Co. Indiana), NVChurch (Churchill Co. Nv.)