I also am of the opinion that a child needs two parents, and that is what I was striving for. The fact that one of the parents was dysfunctional makes little difference because there are many families in this world where one is nuts and the other is not. I just wanted a female in Kade's life. Unfortunately, her mother was not capable of fulfilling that function. Kade had two fathers, and not in the sense that most people see that. Mike and I were not in a sexual relationship, but it was Mike's idea to begin with to have a child and he loved Kade more than if she had of been his own. Mike had a drinking problem and he flat out quit cold turkey because he said he never wanted Kade to be ashamed of him from seeing him drunk. Remember, there was another child come along, a little boy, who was desperately sick and did die at age 4 months. It took all my energy to care for him, so Mike more than took up the slack with Kade. For the first 5 years of her life Mike was the major influence in Kade's life, more than me. If Kade has any problems, and I do not see any in evidence yet, it will be due to all the loss she went through the first 6 years of her life. Mike died, her favorite "uncle", who was actually her godfather, died, her grandmother died, her baby brother died and two other friends of the family died. Gracious, at one time! , when I first wanted to have a child, I had a large extended family, then POW, it all fell apart in a five year period of time until its just me and Kade left. Thank goodness for Kade, because all these people dropping dead around me really sent me for a tailspin and if it hadn't of been for Kade I don't know if I would still be alive. I think one of the things that makes me and Kade so close is that we clung to each other when the world was falling apart around us. Well, anyway, enough of this. Life goes on despite the best laid plans of mice and men. Jack Childers in OKC