Perhaps some enlightened person can set me on the straight and narrow on something. Perhaps I am too involved to have an objective opinion. Two days ago my daughter Kade went to a park with two of her friends. They have a long standing rule that they are home by the time the street lights start popping on. Come dusk they aare still not home, so I called the mother of one of the other girls to see they were at her house. She said no, but she was on her way to park to pick them up and bring them home. I said, OK, since you're going I won't bother. Dusk turned to dark, so I drove to this woman's house to see if they had forgot to call me. She said her little girl was home, she had picked her up at the park , but that Kade and the other little girl were still at the park because they had told her they were not ready to go home yet, and by the way, I should check Kade's breath because her little girl told her Kade had gotten dead drunk on beer she got from some older kids at the park. I went to the park, picked up the two girls, smelled Kade's breath, no beer, she wasn't drunk, etc. From the story I heard fro! m Kade and the other girl, they had wanted to come home with the woman and her daughter, but the other girl hadn't wanted to leave the park, was mad because her mother had come to pick her up, called Kade and friend several choice nasty names, and had lied to her mother about Kade wanting to stay at the park. The next day this nasty talking little girl, age 8, goes to school and tells everyone that Kade was drunk at the park, and told the principal to check Kade's school bag, which is jam packed with various things. The principal collars Kade, searches her backpack and find three packs of my cigarettes in it. Kade swears up and down she did not put the cigarettes in there, and since we all know our children and know when they lying, I believe Kade. The nasty talking little girl had been at our house all weekend, by the way. The way I read it, the nasty little girl put the cigarettes in the bag, in an attempt to get Kade in trouble. This little girl is very disturbed, I have commented to my adult friends several times that I didn't think the child was wired right. This is the daughter of the woman who tried to kill herself a few weeks back by jumping off her second story balcony onto a patio. Anyway, here's where I am perplexed. Why did that woman leave two 9 year old girls alone in a park after dark ? Especially after she had been told, wrongly as it turns out, that one of them was drunk and around older guys ? I was so very tempted to call the police on the woman and have her charged with child endangerment, but I already have enough problems with these neighbors who think I am over protective. I just made the decision that we don't know this woman and her daughter any more, the child will not be in my house nor will Kade go to their house any more. Some people around me are faulting me for this stance, saying I am making a mountain out of a molehill. What do you folks think ? Jack Childers in OKC International Society of BlackSheep Genealogists http://www.gbnf.com/genealogy/childers/html/surnames.htm "I've traveled a long way and some of the roads were not paved" Jaxone1234@msn.com

Jack, I don't think a unilateral ban on the girl and her family are necessarily the right thing to do. I'd have a talk with Kade about the entire situation, including the signs that her nasty friend has serious mental problems and what trouble that can mean for Kade. Then if Kade decides to keep this girl out of her life, it's her idea. If she decides to keep the girl in her circle of friends then Kade will be forewarned and more careful. If you just say that Kade 'can't' have that girl in her life, that friendship will be all that more important. But you have to have the morality chat with her. EdrieAnne IBSSG

Jack... I'm speaking from having raised 5 children (4 daughters)...You may not want to hear what my experience tells me, but here goes: I'd steer clear of having any problems with the mother of this little girl---I'd be very careful of taking ANYBODY's word as true (even my own, sine children are great at changing details to suit themselves)...and I'd be cautious about what's said to or about any child. If the backpack has more than school items and some lunch money, I'd be quick to change that situation. If this child is really having problems and lying on other children, it may warrent a visit with the principal and/or counselor/nurse in order to get another view---does she tell tales on other kids or only Kade? This is a real valid point to explore---if it's a lot of other kids, then there's reason to look into the child's need for help (by the school counselor or principal)...if it's only focused on one or two children, it's very likely a bit of give and take harassment from both sides (little girls can be very gossipy and vindictive). To be sure, the little girl has a lot going on at her home, but I'd not let Kade visit their home anymore...I don't know if I'd restrict the child from your daughter, but that's up to you. I believe I'd discuss it with Kade first, as she will have to deal with the child in school. And this is just one of the early molehills....keep it that way as much as you can... Okay, just a mom's view, but I'd say most parents have been there.....Good luck. Doris....A Texan in Georgia..... Still shaking the family tree and dodging the nuts after 30+ years! IBSSG ----- Original Message ----- From: "JACK CHILDERS" <jaxone1234@msn.com> To: <BLACKSHEEP-CHAT-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, May 08, 2002 9:40 AM Subject: [BSChat] UPSET PARENT Perhaps some enlightened person can set me on the straight and narrow on something. Perhaps I am too involved to have an objective opinion. Two days ago my daughter Kade went to a park with two of her friends. They have a long standing rule that they are home by the time the street lights start popping on. Come dusk they aare still not home, so I called the mother of one of the other girls to see they were at her house. She said no, but she was on her way to park to pick them up and bring them home. I said, OK, since you're going I won't bother. Dusk turned to dark, so I drove to this woman's house to see if they had forgot to call me. She said her little girl was home, she had picked her up at the park , but that Kade and the other little girl were still at the park because they had told her they were not ready to go home yet, and by the way, I should check Kade's breath because her little girl told her Kade had gotten dead drunk on beer she got from some older kids at the park. I went to the park, picked up the two girls, smelled Kade's breath, no beer, she wasn't drunk, etc. From the story I heard fro! m Kade and the other girl, they had wanted to come home with the woman and her daughter, but the other girl hadn't wanted to leave the park, was mad because her mother had come to pick her up, called Kade and friend several choice nasty names, and had lied to her mother about Kade wanting to stay at the park. The next day this nasty talking little girl, age 8, goes to school and tells everyone that Kade was drunk at the park, and told the principal to check Kade's school bag, which is jam packed with various things. The principal collars Kade, searches her backpack and find three packs of my cigarettes in it. Kade swears up and down she did not put the cigarettes in there, and since we all know our children and know when they lying, I believe Kade. The nasty talking little girl had been at our house all weekend, by the way. The way I read it, the nasty little girl put the cigarettes in the bag, in an attempt to get Kade in trouble. This little girl is very disturbed, I have commented to my adult friends several times that I didn't think the child was wired right. This is the daughter of the woman who tried to kill herself a few weeks back by jumping off her second story balcony onto a patio. Anyway, here's where I am perplexed. Why did that woman leave two 9 year old girls alone in a park after dark ? Especially after she had been told, wrongly as it turns out, that one of them was drunk and around older guys ? I was so very tempted to call the police on the woman and have her charged with child endangerment, but I already have enough problems with these neighbors who think I am over protective. I just made the decision that we don't know this woman and her daughter any more, the child will not be in my house nor will Kade go to their house any more. Some people around me are faulting me for this stance, saying I am making a mountain out of a molehill. What do you folks think ? Jack Childers in OKC International Society of BlackSheep Genealogists http://www.gbnf.com/genealogy/childers/html/surnames.htm "I've traveled a long way and some of the roads were not paved" Jaxone1234@msn.com ==== BLACKSHEEP-CHAT Mailing List ==== Blacksheep-Chat-L@rootsweb.com is a wide spectrum Chat List, Topics allowed are almost anything.restrictions are: Political discussion, religious prosylitizing, and aggressive behavior, any of these topics will result in restricted priveleges. ============================== To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237