Jack, living alone isn't the worst thing in life. Living with a spouse you feel anger, resentment and distrust toward is far worse, far more unhealthy. Today could be the best day of her life, if she'll keep that "fresh start" attitude going. She has never had so much freedom to do what ever she wants to do in the way she wants to do it. That even extends to the job market. And at 48 she's probably got a lot of good years ahead. I hope that she'll get some help in handling her loss (of husband, trust, marriage). And sit down and make a list of what she wants to do in the next five years. I don't blame you for keeping your mouth shut so long--I've been in that situation before, too. You know you're either going to cause tremendous pain or be the messenger they want to shoot. Or both. Jan G. ----Original Message Follows---- From: "JACK CHILDERS" <jaxone1234@msn.com> Reply-To: BLACKSHEEP-CHAT-L@rootsweb.com To: BLACKSHEEP-CHAT-L@rootsweb.com Subject: [BSChat] WELL, IT HIT THE FAN Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 11:53:29 -0500 Some of you may remember a few years ago I mentioned that I had this moral dilemma about my sister and her husband. I had come across information that he was running around on her and I asked for advise on how to handle it. I received a lot of conflicting advise, anywhere from go straight to her and tell her, to just letting it ride for the time being, to don't get involved in a married couple's affairs. Well, I decided to let it ride and not get involved, even though I sure did want to tell her. Yesterday it all came out. My poor sister go up in the morning with her life intact and before the day was over her life was changed forever. The day started out bad for her. She tripped in her living room, landed flat on her face and her teeth hit the carpet. Later on in the day she got kicked in the teeth again with the news that her husband was unfaithful to her. Not a good day all the way around. Her husband's unfaithfulness is particularly bad because of who he was unfaithful with. It seems he forced himself off on my sister's daughter, an adult from a previous marriage, and had a sexual encounter several times with my sister's worse enemy. Kind of insult on injury in both cases. And those are the two indiscretions we know about. So now my sister is all alone on her acreage out in the country, the husband is in a motel room, my sister has a life to start over, the whole nine yards. She feels like the past 14 years she was married to him was just a joke and is now ready to start all over again. What a mess. All I can do is hug her and let her cry. I hate to see things like this happen, but I guess unfaithful mates are nothing new under the sun. This is my sister who had her first child when she was 14. This is the very first time she has ever been alone in her life. Always before there were children, then a husband, around her. I don't know how she will handle being totally alone at the age of 48. On top of it all, she is between jobs with the monthly bills due any day now. So it will be hard on her, finding a new job while laboring under the emotional havoc she is experiencing. Yesterday, when she sat down in my living room and point blank asked me what I knew about her husband dallying around with certain other women, I told her she didn't really want to know what I knew about that subject because it was going to ruin her life as she knew it. But I had to come clean with her because other people had already told her all the details, she just had to hear it from me before she acted on it all. Jack Childers in OKC International Society of BlackSheep Genealogists http://www.gbnf.com/genealogy/childers/html/surnames.htm "I've traveled a long way and some of the roads were not paved" Jaxone1234@msn.com ==== BLACKSHEEP-CHAT Mailing List ==== Unsubscribe from the list: Mailto:Blacksheep-Chat-L-request@rootsweb.com?subject=unsubscribe&body=unsubscribe ============================== To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx