In a message dated 9/13/00 12:22:40 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Tsalagi02@aol.com writes: << I do understand the feeling of not fully being accepted to those connections in which you carry bloodlines to. >> Hi Everyone, I truly understand this statment. And I know that Turtle and Alece, no this as well. Here goes. When I first came to Black Dutch, I was as dumb as a box of rocks. But I had a determination in me to find answers. To be quit honest, I had a real ruff time. But I kept at it, and never gave up. I am so much the better for it today. I have not only indured the taunts of others, but I have came far enough to try and help others. Why heck I started wars on Black Dutch, and I am still here. The wars were not intentional. But out of the naive and unknowing way, that I presented myself, I was really kind of funny.But to some, I was there worst nightmare.I never gave an inch. If I was thrown off, I was back the next day as somone else. Why I had more faces then the Mary Kay( make-up ) People.Now of couse not having any proper education, made matters even worst. And not being NA at the time, I think a few of my own, wished I would take my dumb self away.When I say my own people, I am referring to my German counterparts, who very much wanted me to just be silent. I was disrupting their views on Black Dutch. And it was nothing against any of them, it was what I thought and felt. Then when I found my Lenape grandmother, I finally understood what was happening. It is like a whole new world opened up to me. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know about NA and AA. I wanted to talk to anyone I could about Black Dutch. But I soon learned what it meant to be anything connected to NA or AA. I have recieved so many private post, that actually made me sit and cry. I have been called names, I would never use or repeat. Oh yes, the world of the NA and AA, are now my world. I still love my family, and they support my efforts. But never once has an NA or AA ever called me a name, or tried to make me feel shameful in any way.Even with the things I have learned in the last year, I cannot ever imagine what NA or AA have to live on a daily basis. Not so much today, as the yesterdays.So in answer to my question above, I belong right here, with you all.And I wouldn't want to be anywere else. Bright Star