BICKERING! Allow me to humbly throw my two cents into the ring based on more than ten years experience in online discussions like the ones we enter into here. Friends...both the "regulars" and the "lurkers" that we seldom hear from, BICKERING is something that you need to get used to while at the same time working towards minimizing it THROUGH PRIVATE MAIL. To the regulars I say...It is easy to cross paths, say something that someone doesn't like, be misinterpreted or misinterpret something someone else says...etc., etc., etc...in this kind of environment. Almost all of the things we say are attached to "body language" which people see in personal contact and the two together convey a more perfect meaning to our words. However!...without the visual contact even the most innocent things are easily taken the wrong way and bitter catfights can result. Participation in this particular type of environment is not an easy thing to adjust to. It would seem...and does seem to most...that it should be an almost automatic thing to act and be civil in this environment. In fact, people often wonder how something they say that wouldn't be "anything" in normal conversation brings such tirades from people here. The truth is that even though it "feels" like we are simply writing a letter...like we do to our family & friends...that online messaging ettiquette (& tolerance) is E_X_T_R_E_M_E_L_Y difficult to learn...often taking years....sometimes it is never learned. To make things easier for all, my suggestion to the "regulars" is to take your "chill pills", go light on the coffee, take deep breaths, count to 10 (maybe several times), remember that the "send" key can bite you where you don't want to be bitten, and along with about a thousand other things...don't be afraid to give the other person the break we all need...catfights can start at the drop of a hat. Let's be patient. To the "lurkers" out there I say...forgive these poor knuckleheads for they know not what they do. (Big Grin). Don't come into here, lurk, see all the bickering and ASSUME that it isn't worth it....because it IS if you are serious about what this is all about. You might have to sort through a lot of nonsense to get to the good stuff...but it IS here. Keep lurking...don't overlook the "digest modes" of these lists...and just keep your eyes open. Some people want to read every message...some just look at the headers; do whatever feels comfortable and occasionally "just for fun" open one of those "no subject" messages...it might surprise you. I (purposely) do not post to the lists very often...I leave that to the "experts" (Grin!). However do NOT be afraid to jump in if you have something to say. And don't forget that someone else might be anxiously waiting to see _YOUR_ surname pop up so that they can get together with you privately. You will not see me here very often but these lists have been a vehicle to connect me with several cousins that I did not know about till they saw something from me here...and have been influential in solving an 80 year old mystery concerning a grandmother that neither my father nor I ever knew. Never give up the ship and don't ASSUME from a few days, or few weeks, or few months of browsing these lists that it's all a waste of time....they DO work. Condolences to all, Joseph BRITT http://www.toltbbs.com/~jbritt http://members.xoom.com/jbritt BRITT - VA>TN BROWN - Knoxville,TN area BYRD - Carter Co, TN & Michell Co, NC CHANDLER - Knoxville,TN area DAVIS - Knoxville,TN area HONEYCUTT - Carter Co.,TN area STANDIFER - Wise Co.,VA