--part1_e2.a06990a.26fb7fe3_boundary Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit To all my genealogy friends and those who just do not want to lose family memories: I'm on the mailing list of Sandi Gorin, professional genealogist and guru for those of us who are researching Kentucky. Usually she sends tips for our researching, but the following is a "tip" which I think even non-genealogists would appreciate. Pat --part1_e2.a06990a.26fb7fe3_boundary Content-Type: message/rfc822 Content-Disposition: inline Return-Path: <KYRESEARCH-L-request@rootsweb.com> Received: from rly-za02.mx.aol.com (rly-za02.mail.aol.com [172.31.36.98]) by air-za02.mail.aol.com (v76_r1.3) with ESMTP; Thu, 21 Sep 2000 08:03:13 -0400 Received: from lists5.rootsweb.com (lists5.rootsweb.com [63.92.80.123]) by rly-za02.mx.aol.com (v75_b3.9) with ESMTP; Thu, 21 Sep 2000 08:02:22 -0400 Received: (from slist@localhost) by lists5.rootsweb.com (8.10.1/8.10.1) id e8LC20129678; Thu, 21 Sep 2000 05:02:00 -0700 Resent-Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 05:02:00 -0700 X-Original-Sender: sgorin@glasgow-ky.com Thu Sep 21 05:01:59 2000 Message-Id: <3.0.1.32.20000921070219.007cf790@mail.glasgow-ky.com> X-Sender: sgorin@mail.glasgow-ky.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 3.0.1 (32) Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 07:02:19 -0500 Old-To: KYRESEARCH@rootsweb.com From: Sandi Gorin <sgorin@glasgow-ky.com> Subject: TIP #309 - WHAT REALLY COUNTS? Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" X-MIME-Autoconverted: from quoted-printable to 8bit by lists5.rootsweb.com id e8LC1xG29648 Resent-Message-ID: <S6gmwD.A.ePH.3ify5@lists5.rootsweb.com> To: KYRESEARCH-L@rootsweb.com Resent-From: KYRESEARCH-L@rootsweb.com X-Mailing-List: <KYRESEARCH-L@rootsweb.com> archive/latest/308 X-Loop: KYRESEARCH-L@rootsweb.com Precedence: list Resent-Sender: KYRESEARCH-L-request@rootsweb.com Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable X-MIME-Autoconverted: from 8bit to quoted-printable by lists5.rootsweb.com id e8LC20129678 TIP #309 - WHAT REALLY COUNTS? I hope you will let me ramble a bit for today's tip; it is really a re-run of an earlier tip, but has been brought to mind again during this past week. As I grow older, I find myself wishing how much I had asked more questions when family members were still with us. My family is dwindling down to a precious few and along with the feeling of loss of their leaving, I think of how much I didn't know about them. Oh, I have all the dates of birth and death, where and when they were married and all the children. But what do I know about them as a person? What precious memories are gone forever? In all our efforts to get every vital statistic right so we can join the DAR, SAR, Colonial Dames - whatever, have we forgotten that we are dealing with real people? People that lived, loved, hurt, felt pride, worked hard, people who mattered whether they were descended from some famous king or queen, president or outlaw. Or have we become so determined to get every date right, and every pedigree box filled in that we've forgotten what they did, who they were and what legacy they left us? I think sometimes we need to go back to square one and start treating our ancestors with a little more respect!!=20 Of course, we all have family that are so illusive that the only proof we have of their existence is that we are here! But, lets think back just a couple or more generations and be thankful we at least have the names on the ones for whom we can find no biographical information. My daughter was recently given a family history book created by Thomas Kincaide, the famous 'Painter of Lights" that I like so much. In looking through it, I was deeply impressed about the type of data asked for. It had the regular family history information of course, but other questions that stirred up memories in my heart were there too. What was your grandma's favorite recipe? Where did they live, in what kind of a house? What songs were popular then, who were their best friends? What hobbies did they have, where did they go to church, what was their favorite teacher's names, etc. It got me really thinking again on how much I didn't know about my own family! On living family members, of whom there are less than one hand's worth in counting, I can go back and ask. But my precious grandparents and great-grandparents - unless my mother remembers, I will never know. In 1971, I became interested in genealogy, really before I could spell the word! I made a long distance call to my aunt in Tucson who I knew was tracing her family and my uncles and asked her what to do. She gave me a=20= =BD hour lesson in family tree searching that has served me down to the present time. She stressed people first, statistics later. She mailed me an audio tape that she had from my grandfather who has been dead for almost 20 years. She had asked him questions such as the above and he was older and got flustered and couldn't remember. So she left him her tape recorder. Lo and behold, he got messing with the tape and mailed it to her a couple of months later. She made me a copy and it is so cherished. He really "got into it" and not only told stories of his childhood, but sang old coal mining songs from Southern Illinois, told about the politics of the day, illnesses, triumphs, hard times on the farm - an hour of tape covering 80 years of his life. I cherish it! Then, about 10 years ago, I asked my Mom to give me her life story and she made 2 tapes for me (which need to be updated). Her hands were getting arthritic and it was hard for her to write, but she was quite at home with a tape recorder and told of her life on the farm, growing up in a tiny town in central Illinois, the hardships, the joys, my birth, the birth and death of my brother. My precious Dad left us in 1996, and he couldn't write too well, but he was a talker. I never got him to make me a tape, but with my memories and those of his only living sister, we have reconstructed most of his life of growing up prior to the Great Depression, World War II and onward.=20 Now, I am doing the same for my two daughters. I have the "luxury" of doing it on the computer. Whenever I have a few minutes, rare it seems, I plunk out another chapter of my life. Many times years later in my life story, my memory will be jogged of something, and I will add an "interlude" - a chapter of missed memories. I have 20 chapters done now - the girls are both getting a hard copy and a computer disk. Fancy memories? Not really. I don't descend from anyone famous, a lot of our family must have hid out when something important happened. But I can tell them of growing up in a small town and knowing all of my classmates from 1st grade on, of lonliness, of friends, of events that happened during those years such as the launching of Sputnik and our fears to go out on the playground thinking a Russian satellite was photographing us. Of elections, the Korean and Viet Nam War. My times of feeling like a klutz playing girl's basketball or trying to dance, of meeting their daddy, their births.=20 I have also kept a diary for both girls since the day they were born. Plus, I kept my own diary which meant 3 diary entries a day. When they were old enough, I gave the girls their own diaries and begged them to keep them up --which they are. They know what happened every day of their lives less maybe 5 days over the many years. And, being smaltzy, I made them great big scrapbooks - all the cards they have ever received, pieces of the wrapping paper from their gifts, birth announcements, shower presents, lists of toys they like to play with. And pictures - about 30 albums full over the years - friends, events, places. Since we've lived in 5 states, there is something there from every house we've lived in, every town.=20 Now, it's their problem on how to find room for all their "memories", but it has worked. They actively keep records of their lives; one married now and one serious. Statistically, for some patriotic organization, this would mean nothing. But for me, for them, it IS their life! So, along with being able to quote their ancestors back many generations, they know that great-aunt Lizzie was a Bohemian and the life the party; another aunt was a great poker player; Uncle Frederick invented the space bar on the typewriter, Rev. Marcellus was thrown into the brig during the Civil War for being on the wrong side of the fence in the Civil War; their grandmother was a great horsewoman (on the farm, never professionally); their grandpa never knew his father who was killed accidentally when he was three years old; and the adventures of their mother taking flying lessons. They know when they were sick and of what, who got into a little girl's squabble with who and how they did on their report cards. It is a walk back in time with their family and they both love it. So, after many paragraphs, what I'm trying to say is ... record it! We need those dates and places, but we need to know the people who match those dates and places. We are what they were in so many ways, the same genes run in our body, their blood flows in our veins. Their illnesses might effect us later, their reactions to situations many time are shown in how we respond. When they made mistakes, we can learn from their errors and hopefully, not repeat them. When they succeeded, we can not only take pride, but strive to match their goals and exceed them. When great grandpa slaved over a horse drawn plow and at night stared at the stars; our children might be on a space ship soaring between them. Where they had discord in marriage or family, we can strive to be on the alert to see what we can do to not have the same. =20 If you can get the family members to make a tape, write it down, or dictate it to you ... save it, cherish it for it is a shadow of you and of your descendants. (c) Copyright 21 September 2000, Sandra K. Gorin. All Rights Reserved. sgorin@glasgow-ky.com Col. Sandi Gorin, 205 Clements, Glasgow, KY 42141 (270) 651-9114 Member: Glasgow-Barren Co Chamber of Commerce Publishing: http://ggpublishing.tripod.com/=20 <>< TIPS: http://cgi.rootsweb.com/~genbbs/genbbs.cgi/USA/Ky/Tips KYBIOS: http://cgi.rootsweb.com/~genbbs/genbbs.cgi/USA/Ky/Bios SCKY ARCHIVES: http://searches.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/listsearch.pl Surname Registry: http://sckyregistry.homestead.com/SCKYHome.html Merged Surname Registry all counties in South Central KY: http://www.public.asu.edu/~moore/files/surnames/surnames.txt =3D=3D=3D=3D KYRESEARCH Mailing List =3D=3D=3D=3D --part1_e2.a06990a.26fb7fe3_boundary--

Hi All, Regarding "What really counts," I have a few words to share. I have been doing genealogy research seriously for the past five years or so, and have found a wealth of information in my Bird line, as many of you have I am sure. Is it just me? When I find a ggggggggg-family member's children listed, I only pay close attention to the lines of the children who bore offspring. Although that line of reasoning will get one from "point A" (the gggggg-kin) to "poing B" (the one doing the research), a significant amount of information is lost. And since most of us are interested in putting flesh and blood on these kin, it's a crime. Case in point. I was born, grew up, got married, had three kids, got divorced. Kids are Rachel, Cory and Joshua, born in '82, 85, and 88. We live in Utah. Knowing that, akin to what you would get with a pedigree chart, how much do you know about me and the kids? None of the kids have children yet. Old line reasoning says follow the ones that will. Another pedigree chart segment ican then be completed. Talk about DRY! Kind of like shredded wheat with no sugar or milk. What's lost? Remember me being divorced? The Ex had the kids with her on vacation out of state. While they were all in the car, a motor home began crossing into the Ex's lane way down the highway. As the motor home approached closer, it didn't get out of the 'wrong' lane. The Ex pulled off the road on the right as far as possible--without going into a major ditch--and stopped. Everyone in the passenger car had seatbelts on. The motor home driver didn't wake up, and therefore never corrected. The motor home drove over the driver's half of the car and kept going through the ditch and across an open field for several hundred yards. Ex and Rachel killed. Rachel was 14 and will never have kids. Josh was 8 and in the front passenger seat. He never lost consciousness and remembers every single detail...right down to what his mother sounded like when she got hit. Big brother Cory--11--was in the back passenger's seat. Josh, after a quick triage (triage at 8 years old?) knew his mom and sister were gone. He saw his brother bleeding frorm a head injury, so he crawled over the back seat and checked his brother for a heartbeat. He then began to exit the top of the car (ripped open in the wreck) when he was lifted out. Because his big sister taught him, Joshua was able to tell the paramedics my phone number (two states away), and I heard from the hospital right away and gave permission to treat the survivors. While his brother rode in the back of the rescue vehicle, Josh got to sit up front with the driver. He got to push the button that turned the stop lights red so the emergency vehicles to pass. As a result of getting 'instant full-time custody' I was no longer able to travel, as my job required. The compasionate organization I work for was able to place me in acceptable employment at the same rate of pay. But it was out of state and we had to move. After the move I started hearing about all Josh did in the wreckm it takes awhile for all the details to come out of all those involved. And Josh began to ask, "Why don't the kids at school believe me when I tell them what I did?" I could only answer, "Because it is so far out of their normal world they cannot fathom it." I nominated Josh for varous awards. He received a Youth Hall of Fame award for Courage. He received the Washington State Patrol Citizen Award. And he received an award from the ER hospital, fire department paramedics, and local law enforcement...the last reads like the Medal of Honor. The pedigree chart would just say that I had three kids, one died, two boys lived on and (I suppose) had kids and there was a move from Utah to Idaho. But that would not tell you about Josh's courage. It would not tell you about Big Sister teaching Little Brother dad's phone number. And it wouldn't explain the move. Cory is now 14 and on the football team, being recovered enough from the brain injury that he is no longer on a 'special' program. His broken eye orbit and broken rib have healed, but the gaping hole left in the absence of mom and sis will likely always be somewhat an open sore. Josh--physical injury free, now 12, is doing better in school. I hope none of you get to experience what Josh experienced. Both boys have been hospitalized for the affects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder over the past couple years. Another detail...Josh wants to drive an Ambulance when he grows up. You don't get that kind of information off a pedigree chart. James