This should have been attached so all will know about the origin of Bates. << Start of Forwarded message via Prodigy Mail >> From: (JSWV61A) JACK BATES Subject: Bates Connection Date: 04/07 Time: 12:03 AM Well now, Linda, I hope you have time to listen to a story about the true roots you seek. Since time began the distaff side of the equation has wandered this earth carrying a lot of unnecessary baggage about the Garden of Eden and Eve and apples and worms etc--and, oh, yes---that critter called man. No doubt, you have always believed man was made first and put down in Eden to do the grunt work. Well, that's just not correct! Eve came first and she got so lonely she set up a howl for a man. The powers that be couldn't stand her yowling so they decided to create a man for Eve. It being late in the day when they started, forever after that time of day came to be known as EVEning. They stirred up a mess of good things, put it in the man-mould, let it dry over night and in the morning they popped out their first-ever man. Eve took one look at the hairy ape-like creature and howled louder than ever. So they tried again, and again, and again, and again. One night after millions of years, they became so efficient that they produced two men. Both were extremely handsome, perfect physicl specimens, intelligent beyond belief, strong and fearless, but very gentle and kind. One was very heavenly, according to Eve, so they called him Adonis. (It could have been Jacob or Zachariah, but they needed a name starting with a letter to start teaching the alphabet with.) Since he was such a heavenly looking critter, they sent him into the heavens atop Mount Olympus. Once Adonis was gone Eve looked at man No.2 and she saw how much more perfect he was than the departed Adonis. The more she looked, the more delighted she became that her man was by far the best ever created or that ever would be created!!! She turned to No. 2 and with that famous come-hither look started to call out to him to follow her into the garden. Her voice cracked and croaked as she realized this wonderful creature did not have a name!! By now she was beginning to learn the alphabet so she said to this most marvelous male ever created," I shall give you a name with the second letter of the alphabet, "B". So you shall be called BATES. (Never mind those genealogy books, Linda, that say Bates is a shorthand form for BArTholEmew, this is the real skinny.) Well, when word got out to Diana and her gang of groupies, Bates was so in demand that he had to hide out. To this day, Bates is hard to find--always hiding from those of us who chase Bates through the pages of time. When someone does get an occaisional glimpse, it's like an Elvis sighting. The activity can not be believed. In between times, the pursuers sink into exhausted sleep to await the next frenzied search. You have joined us in one of those quiet moments, Linda. Grab and apple and sit a spell! If you have any questions about the veracity of this tale, Linda, address your queries to: http://www.Zeus. org/mendacity Yours truly, Mercury aka known as Jack Bates <Internet Distribution List> TO: [email protected] CC: [email protected] << End of Forwarded message >>