Don't worry Robyn, there are lots and lots of stories around just like your one. Who knows what we are getting when we purchase a house and land - it could be the former owners remains as well! Maybe you could sneak in at some time and did up your dad's ashes without your daughter knowing about it. Then somehow convince her to give you mums ashes as well. OR else just place a memorial only at your local cemetery so at least you and future generations have somewhere to go. Don't forget that in days gone by, a lot of country people were buried on properties, and we know from recent emails on the lists what has happened to lots of them! This practice of reusing burial plots has actually being going on in some other countries for years, but it is new here. The trouble with the cemeteries trying to keep all the old headstones is where would they keep them? THe last time this happened I believe the cemetery in question kept them for some time before disposing of them. Maybe instead of trying to stop this happening, someone needs to come up with a solution of what to do with the memorials. Possibly a new area somewhere that would take up a lot less space than the original graves with just the memorials on display. I have found the majority of my ancestors did not have memorials anyway. I have told my family that I want my ashes scattered anyway and if they choose to put a memorial only, that is their choice. As long as I am not locked away in a niche or garden somewhere for eternity I don't mind!! Charmaine re temporary plots....this is a true story, names have not been mentioned to > protect the poor daughter of the mother and father who feels strange about > it all.... > > A certain person's father was dying. He was so depressed, and his wife was > a very practical sort, not a very loving sort of person, or could not show > it. She just said, well, IF something happens (and we all know what she > meant) where do you want to be buried. This father was so fed up he just > said, you can bury me in the back yard with the dog as far as I am > concerned. (Note...NEVER try to be silly when you are dying, it backfires!) > > The wife said, well, if that is where you want to be buried, that's where > you will go, end of conversation. So eventually the man breathes his last > and he gets cremated and his ashes are in a shoe box, or it looks like a > shoe box. We collect it and sign for it, to dispose of it. We told the > funeral man where it was going and he dutifully wrote it in his book. > > We then have the committal 'service' in the back yard. Just some of the > family. My husband had to dig the hole. While we are all trying to say the > Lord's Prayer, my husband digs up the dogs head. Oh, says my mother, poor > Beppo, and she has a conversation with my husband about the dog. We keep > trying to 'pray' while all this goes on. Oh, there is his leg, goodness, > any more Malcolm, oh, there is his OTHER leg, poor Beppo..you can just > imagine it. My friend got a fit of the giggles and nearly choked with all > these bones coming out, mum was more concerned about the head of the dog > than anything else. She missed the prayer entirely. > > Anyway, to cut a dreadful internment story short, we finally got dad buried > with,or on top of,or partly underneath, it was so mucked up eventually, the > dog, Beppo. We all went to have a cup of tea. WE needed it. Wait the > story has not finished.... > > A couple of years later it was the wife's turn to die. She told the > executor a friend of the family, she wanted to go, and a point to the back > yard and a nod. So we get the box, it starts again, and by then my daughter > was living in the house, she got the lot, so I gave the box to her and said, > well, you know what mum wanted. Here she is. I also said, on no account are > you to ask me to attend another funeral service in the back yard, the farce > last time was enough. Also please do not bury ME on top of mum, on top of > dad, on top of the dog, Beppo, in the back yard. > > Now I am still alive, and hope not to be buried in the back yard. > Mercifully I have other children, and I have told them my instructions about > a back yard burial. > > The story has a bit of a non-closure about it really. Dad in in the back > yard. Daughter does not live there anymore, place is rented and will be > sold once she can get her act together. Mum has not been placed at all. > She is still in the cupboard at my daughter's place. So I cannot go to my > father's last resting place, it is in a stranger's back yard. I cannot go > to my mother's last resting place. She is in the cupboard. It would be > nice on mother's day or Christmas to go somewhere, but that is an option not > available to me. I don't really want to go to a cupboard and pat it. > > I have suggested to my daughter to take dad out and put him and mum in a > place, under a rock, put a plaque on it, at the local cemetery where her > friends and myself can go to, if we want to. She says that is not what her > grandparents wanted. Well, I am sure they didn't want to be in some > stranger's backyard either. They thought she would live there for the rest > of her days, but now some poor person might dig that garden and dig dad up. > They will get quite a shock. > > Anyone got any suggestions. robyndehood,toowoomba,qld.oz. > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Gerry Patman" <patmandu@iinet.net.au> > To: <AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES-L@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Thursday, January 16, 2003 7:56 AM > Subject: [[AUS-CEM]] Re: [[AUS-CEM]] URGENT - Cemetery Tenures > > > > Re: temporary nature of purchased burial plots. > > Shifting the goal posts or what! > > Leave our ancestors alone. > > We purchase plots, memorials et al at such exorbitant prices and are then > > asked by a cemetery board down the track "what do you want to do with a > > relatives head stone?" > > "I'll claim it and put it with the other marble statues that I've managed > to > > recover in my backyard. I imagine most Australian back gardens will all > > contain headstones of their pioneer settlers eventually, why shouldn't the > > Prime Ministers back yard look any different? > > > > Politicians should be given the privilege of receiving their relatives > > headstones and memorials free of obligation, delivered to their front > door. > > Linking both government and opposition persons to outdated memoriam would > be > > gladly taken on by the many historical and genealogical societies > throughout > > the land, free of charge. > > These policy makers are surely deserving of the privilege. > > > > As for our future dead, if there isn't enough room in our existing > > cemeteries, alter the method of disposal, as in other space deprived > cities. > > We can alter our future, leave our past alone. > > Gerarde Walter Patman and Joyce Louise Staines > > > > > > ==== AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES Mailing List ==== > > ================================================================== > > Cemetery Records on line:- > > http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~batman/ > > ================================================================== > > > > ============================== > > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, > go to: > > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 > > > > > > > ==== AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES Mailing List ==== > ================================================================== > Cemetery Records on line:- > http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~batman/ > ================================================================== > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 > >