Hi Robyn, Have you approached the tenants. They may be more helpful than you think. Might be a fellow genie. If you get your fathers ashes your dtr might be more likely to hand over your mothers. If they were regular church goers it is possible as I know in one case where the ashes were scattered under a tree in the church grounds because spouse's were there too. But for all researchers sake remember to tell somebody. It was only a fluke that while researching one cemetery in the Griffiths area someone overheard and told them that they knew of some in the church grounds and they were duly added to the list. The priest performed the ceremony and he had noted in his records but wherever they go it is good to tell your local society about it. Selfish I know but whenever I hear scattered to the winds I think hope someone knows. And don't trust inscriptions. I have a family at Toowong with 7 inscriptions on it but I checked with their register and one was not in the grave he had died in Rockhampton and I stumbled on this via an inquest. No inscription on the grave in Rockhampton but his name was added to the tombstone along with parents and a few of his siblings. Quite a few family arguments about people being buried somewhere but no inscription and I know people have gone to the trouble of putting one on only to find a grave elsewhere. Maybe d/c would be the answer before you add an inscription check to see which cemetery is on it and don't assume. Guess lesson here if you are going to put on inscription maybe you should add this somehow??? like bur ..... but remembered here. Maybe someone can suggest something. Failing all this maybe you can do what my nieces and nephews do (they go to their favourite place which has the most memories or their father on the special days - he was scattered at sea where he loved surfing). Go somewhere you remember fondly and I am sure you will find peace there on special days and they will probably be there with you no matter where their remains are. They might even be enjoying it all except for you being upset. And you might enjoy this too taken from a Methodist book about one of their flock "she was suddenly called into eternity by being accidentally precipitated into a cellar". Nice way of saying she fell into the cellar and died. Keep that sense of humour Robyn it will get you through this. Sandra ----- Original Message ----- From: <mrshaw@bigpond.com> To: <AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2003 3:05 PM Subject: [[AUS-CEM]] Re: [[AUS-CEM]] RE: Grave ownership > Re Burial of Ashes. > > My father died and was cremated. His next of kin, my mother, had to sign > for his ashes. > > When she died a few years later, I had to sign for them, but my daughter > wanted them to put them with her grandfather buried in the back yard of her > house. She was given the house when mum died, her siblings got not even a, > 'i wish them well', sentence.. > > So she wanted her grandfather AND her grandmother both put into the garden > in the back yard, together. That was what he wanted and I had no > objection at the time. Was not thinking straight really. Was it what mum > wanted? Probably. My daughter went to get the ashes box but the people > would not give it to her, she was not the next of kin, only a beneficiary > under the will. So I had to go down to Brisbane, even after faxing them to > say she could collect the box, they would not accept that as permission. I > got the box, duly signed for it, and gave it to her, thinking she would add > mum to dad in the back yard. (Never do this, people, NEVER!) > > Well, did she. No. Mum is still in the cupboard (or where ever) with my > daughter. > She has rented out the house for the last couple of years, and now has it on > the market. > > So, what do I do. Do I dig up dad, and place him in some last resting place > at the local cemetery, spread him around, put a plaque on the nearest rock > saying the ashes of so an so were put to rest here, and the date. Do I > leave him there, so that some stranger digs him up one day and shrieks in > fright. Do I get mum's ashes from my daughter and put her with dad, and > forget all about them both, and hope nobody digs them up later. I didn't > mind that my father was in the back yard when my daughter was living in the > house, but she has been gone for a year or more now, and I think that was > why she had not got round to putting mum with dad. She was not sure what to > do, knowing she was not going to live there for long...dunno. > > Do I dig dad up, take 'my' ashes from my daughter (and this may not be able > to be done pleasantly) as I own my mother's box, not her, and take both of > them to the local cemetery and do the spreading bit and put a plaque on some > rock saying the ashes were laid of both parents, this date, blah blah. > > I feel a bit lost on Christmas and Father's Day that I cannot go anywhere, > let alone to a complete stranger's house and say, hello, can i put some > flowers on my father's grave in your backyard? If I leave him there, I will > not feel comfortable about it. The next of kin should be able to decide on > the disposal of the ashes. If I decide to put dad and mum in the local > cemetery, and they said it was ok, just that it was not official and would > not be 'recorded', but I can put a notice in the local paper saying the > ashes were spread this date of so and so, so it is as official as it can be. > The cemetery is closed to burials now. I would feel more comfortable with > this if I can get some support from the list about this decision. Sorry to > do this, but I am an only child and have no one else to ask. Daughter does > not know of this option at this stage. robyndehood. > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Donny [Dianne]" <donfay11@bigpond.net.au> > To: <AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES-L@rootsweb.com> > Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2003 2:22 PM > Subject: [[AUS-CEM]] RE: Grave ownership > > > > At Toowong Cemetery in Brisbane, they only allow two bodies in most [not > > all] graves. We had understood that this meant that my Mum's wish to > buried > > with them was impossible. > > > > I've since spoken to the Sexton, who said that we can inter the ashes of > as > > many people as we like there, just no more bodies. He also told me that > > unless it's specified otherwise in a will, ownership generally goes to the > > eldest living child, and it's their permission that should be sought. > > > > So , that would be Mum now [she's still with us], and me when she passes > > away. > > > > My question is that, since she is the current 'owner', why would they need > > *my* permission to inter *her* ashes there? > > > > > > > > Donny [Dianne] > > > > http://au.geocities.com/donnyfay/ Henry Descendants > > http://au.geocities.com/diannefay/ Fensom Descendants > > > > > > > > > > ==== AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES Mailing List ==== > > ================================================================== > > "Please "do not" post virus warnings to the list. > > ================================================================== > > > > ============================== > > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, > go to: > > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 > > > > > > ==== AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES Mailing List ==== > ================================================================== > Cemetery Records on line:- > http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~batman/ > ================================================================== > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 >

I found it interesting in Ireland when we visited graves that they had about 20 names on them. Obviously not all buried in the grave. I have never seen this before in Australia. Kaye www.bananatv.com/genealogy ----- Original Message ----- From: "Brian & Sandra Magee" <sanbri@optusnet.com.au> To: <AUSTRALIA-CEMETERIES-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2003 9:16 AM Subject: [[AUS-CEM]] Re: [[AUS-CEM]] Re: [[AUS-CEM]] RE: Grave ownership > Hi Robyn, > > Have you approached the tenants. They may be more helpful than you think. > Might be a fellow genie. If you get your fathers ashes your dtr might be > more likely to hand over your mothers. If