Hi All I know the A's have a sense of humour, so I hope these two brighten up your Friday - the War Jokes and puns have started filtering through, hope you enjoy these. The first is typically British in it's humour, the second has the sort of ouch factor I enjoy! Kathy "Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton," UK defence minister Geoff Hoon said in The Commons yesterday. "He's either never been to Southampton, or he's never been to Umm Qasr" says a British Squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr. he added: "There's no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It's more like Portsmouth." CNN/REUTERS: NEWS REPORTS HAVE FILTERED OUT EARLY THIS MORNING THAT US FORCES HAVE SWOOPED ON AN IRAQI PRIMARY SCHOOL AND DETAINED TEACHER MOHAMMED AL-HAZAR. SOURCES INDICATE THAT, WHEN ARRESTED, AL-HAZAR WAS IN POSSESSION OF A RULER, A PROTRACTOR, A SET SQUARE AND A CALCULATOR. US PRESIDENT GEORGE W BUSH ARGUED THAT THIS WAS CLEAR AND OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE THAT IRAQ INDEED POSSESSED WEAPONS OF MATHS INSTRUCTION