Christmas Letter Dec. 13, 2007 Well, It's that time of the year again. . I finally turned 65 and can now take advantage of Medicare with a supplement. Only thing is, I feel fine and don't need to go to the Doctor. Bob's Mom has moved in with us and it's going great. She turned 91 and said she was tired of living by herself with just the dog to talk to. She was afraid she might start understanding what the dog said. . So now she has so much conversation, she is probably looking for some peace and quiet. My daughter Jill and her family live just down the hill, so the kids are here at least once or twice a day to add to the excitement. While getting Grandma ready to move, we put a bunch of old clothes in a goodwill box for the man to pick up, we had to go down, and put them out on the porch for him, he didn't come, we called son Rick to go move the boxes inside for her. The man will come on Weds. We made a point to go down and move the boxes back out to the edge of the driveway for him. Weds. comes and the man is knocking on the door, "Where are your boxes?" he says. "out on the driveway", she says. They both look and there are no boxes anywhere, someone stole them in the middle of the night She was so embarrassed after she made the man make a special trip to come and get them Well now, if someone will steal a couple of boxes for the goodwill, they might take that old electric wheel chair that doesn't work. We sit it out by the edge of the driveway for 3 days, no takers, we add a "FREE" sign, it's gone that day. 5 hours later a man is knocking on the door and told Grandma that the battery was dea! d in the electric wheelchair. No kidding, why did they think we got rid of it. She told them they could buy a new battery. I asked her if, as he was leaving, did she ask him how the clothes fit from the goodwill box! Had to drill a new well this year we were dealing with no water. Bob was out water witching for where to dig for it and then I look outside and there is daughter Jill with a crystal ball on a string, waving it back and forth over the spot her Dad had witched. I laughed to myself about how weird they are, But I guess all their black magic worked, at least we have water now. We were watching the "Dog Whisperer", a show about how a guy can train any dog in the half hour. Bob was telling his Mom how easy she could train her dog to mind her. Just then thunder rolled in and lightning struck and Bob's outside dog, a Queensland healer, hit the front door and came right on in. She hates thunder and lightning. "O.K. Mr. Dog Whisperer lets see you put the dog back out side", I said. ."out Rosie!" says Bob. The dog didn't move an inch, so he yells again at the dog, nothing. except laughter from his mom and I and Jill and the kids. We told him to stand up straighter put his shoulders back and be more dominate. (we learned this from the show) He straightens up and dominantly says, "Out Rosie." Nothing again, so he takes her by the collar and drags her to the sliding doors and there, outside, watching to see what was happening, was Jill's 2 golden retrievers, who that morning were sprayed by a skunk and smelled to high heaven. He gets Rosie! to the sliding door and as Bob is pulling her outside, Rosie snaps at the golden retrievers and the fight began, Bob is still holding onto Rosie's collar so he is tripped up by the retrievers and "DOWN GOES FRAZIER" , the kids jump up and scream because Grandpa is down, Jill and I and his Mother are still laughing so hard , that none of us noticed Rosie went around the deck and came back in through the front door and went and hid behind the toilet. By now Bob is ready to pull out the gun and kill her. He gets a spray bottle and sprays her with water until she comes out from behind the toilet and he thinks he has accomplished something big. Only the dog comes out of the bathroom and goes down the hall and hides in our closet. Now Bob is really nuts, we are still laughing about how the dog whisperer never has this problem. He snatches the dog by the collar again and drags her down the hall, you could here her toenails scratching the hardwood floor, area rugs rolled up! into balls , the dog reaching out for door jams and anything ! that cou ld delay her trip outside to thunder and lightning. the dog is hanging on to the leg of the butcher block, finally out she goes. We are still laughing. We took the kids to the fair and 10 year old grand daughter Alix saw a shirt that said "Free your monkey, Go Commando" On the way home, she asked Jill what that meant, Jill looks over at me and says "go for it". I told her sometimes (mostly always) men or boys name their private parts and evidently his was called a monkey. She already knew what going commando was. Alix looked at me with such a look as if to say, "WHAT?" They name their private parts? Alix says, "you mean they just wake up some morning go to the bathroom, look down and say, Good morning, Stanley?" I thought we would die laughing. 7 year old Grandson Max was playing his game boy not paying any attention to us, we think, When in a loud voice without even looking up from his gameboy , he yells, '"GOOD MORNING, STAN-LEE". (just like Good Morning, Viet-Nam from the movie ) I looked at Jill and we are still laughing and I said ," Maybe there are some conversations we shouldn't have with kids." We also had some exciting ball games this year, Rick coaches his daughter Taylor's softball team and we played a softball tournament in Marysville and Marysville went berserk when a call went against them and we won the game. An interference with the runner was called on the daughter of Marysville manager to give us the game. The coaches came out of the dug out and went nuts, called the umpire all kinds of names. The manager, a woman, was so mad at the umpire for making that call against her daughter, that she went after him. her coach had to restrain her, he picked her around the waist and her arms and feet were waving and kicking. Another coach took off after the umpire and my son in law and another guy had to hold the gate closed to keep him from getting off the field. Then 6 police cars came from roads unbeknownst to man, with sirens blaring and lights flashing, and surrounded the ball field. Rick and the manager Skip were sitting in the dug out with the girls! , just watching all this. The had those little smiles on their faces as if to say, "Well at least WE didn't start the fracas!" The umpire walks over to the dug out and says, "are you the home team?", "Yes, we are", they say. "You have just won the game", says the umpire. The police escorted our girls from the dug out safely and me, not being the run of the mill baseball spectator, grabbed my daughter in law's camera and starting taking shots of cop cars, flashing lights and a brawl in front of the snack bar. It was great! best ball game I have been to all year! But, then again that is just me. Oh and Rick coached is son's baseball team and was kicked out of the tournament of champions first game for questioning the umpire about a foul ball call. He was kicked out of the ball field and had to coach via cell phone until the umpire got wise to that. He threatened to throw all of the coaches out if they didn't get off the cell phone. Love baseball season. A few weeks ago we spent the week end in Reno for grandson Jace's and nephew's Jimmy Heryford's wrestling tourament, Jimmy (6 years old) won first place in the 43 pounders. man that was long week end. Sat for 16 hours in the Reno Livestock Events Center. They have mostly Rodeo's in there I think, as soon as you walk in, you can just smell that tall skinny cowboy in skin tight wranglers, with that snap button shirt that with one pull ...... oh, pardon me, just an old woman trying to jog her memory. I better quit before this gets too long. Just wanted to mention the Chinese. Why don't we feel that China might be a terrorists threat? they have added antifreeze to our toothpaste, poisoned our dog food, put lead in children's jewelry and sidewalk chalk. and toys. some where out there, is a Sponge Bob Lead pants that some one is getting for Christmas. The Chinese you gotta love them, they lower our resistance before they attack us. Toxic Chinese Toothpaste, a great name for a punk rock band. Did you ever put on a coat or a pair of pants and wonder where you wore them last? well just put your hand into the pocket, if you are like me you will pull out all kinds of stuff. I put on my winter coat the other day and found out a year ago I had chapped lips, a rash that required a prescription ointment a tic tac and a half a stick of gum, but I did find 2 one dollar bills. In tried on a pair if pants to wear to a funeral and wondered where I wore them last, pulled a show stub for " Bridge over Teribitha" on Feb. 16th 2006. O.K. enough of all this, hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Dianne, Dianne Heryford EarthLink Revolves Around You.

Diane, I must admit that I was laughing so hard that I don't know if I read the whole letter and where my pants were when I had them on last and I'm making a phone call to a Mr. Stan Lee, whoever he is? Cousin Ben from North-central Maine where it has already snowed and another one coming in. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Dianne" <tijuana@jps.net> To: <ARMSTRONG-L@rootsweb.com> Sent: Saturday, December 15, 2007 1:12 PM Subject: [ARMSTRONG] 2007 christmas letter > Christmas Letter > Dec. 13, 2007 > > Well, It's that time of the year again. . I finally turned 65 and can now > take advantage of Medicare with a supplement. Only thing is, I feel fine > and don't need to go to the Doctor. Bob's Mom has moved in with us and > it's going great. She turned 91 and said she was tired of living by > herself with just the dog to talk to. She was afraid she might start > understanding what the dog said. . So now she has so much conversation, > she is probably looking for some peace and quiet. My daughter Jill and > her family live just down the hill, so the kids are here at least once or > twice a day to add to the excitement. > > While getting Grandma ready to move, we put a bunch of old clothes in a > goodwill box for the man to pick up, we had to go down, and put them out > on the porch for him, he didn't come, we called son Rick to go move the > boxes inside for her. The man will come on Weds. We made a point to go > down and move the boxes back out to the edge of the driveway for him. > Weds. comes and the man is knocking on the door, "Where are your boxes?" > he says. "out on the driveway", she says. They both look and there are > no boxes anywhere, someone stole them in the middle of the night She was > so embarrassed after she made the man make a special trip to come and get > them Well now, if someone will steal a couple of boxes for the goodwill, > they might take that old electric wheel chair that doesn't work. We sit > it out by the edge of the driveway for 3 days, no takers, we add a "FREE" > sign, it's gone that day. 5 hours later a man is knocking on the door and > told Grandma that the battery was dea! > d in the electric wheelchair. No kidding, why did they think we got rid > of it. She told them they could buy a new battery. I asked her if, as he > was leaving, did she ask him how the clothes fit from the goodwill box! > > Had to drill a new well this year we were dealing with no water. Bob was > out water witching for where to dig for it and then I look outside and > there is daughter Jill with a crystal ball on a string, waving it back and > forth over the spot her Dad had witched. I laughed to myself about how > weird they are, But I guess all their black magic worked, at least we > have water now. > > We were watching the "Dog Whisperer", a show about how a guy can train any > dog in the half hour. Bob was telling his Mom how easy she could train > her dog to mind her. Just then thunder rolled in and lightning struck > and Bob's outside dog, a Queensland healer, hit the front door and came > right on in. She hates thunder and lightning. "O.K. Mr. Dog Whisperer > lets see you put the dog back out side", I said. ."out Rosie!" says Bob. > The dog didn't move an inch, so he yells again at the dog, nothing. > except laughter from his mom and I and Jill and the kids. We told him to > stand up straighter put his shoulders back and be more dominate. (we > learned this from the show) He straightens up and dominantly says, "Out > Rosie." Nothing again, so he takes her by the collar and drags her to the > sliding doors and there, outside, watching to see what was happening, > was Jill's 2 golden retrievers, who that morning were sprayed by a skunk > and smelled to high heaven. He gets Rosie! > to the sliding door and as Bob is pulling her outside, Rosie snaps at > the golden retrievers and the fight began, Bob is still holding onto > Rosie's collar so he is tripped up by the retrievers and "DOWN GOES > FRAZIER" , the kids jump up and scream because Grandpa is down, Jill and > I and his Mother are still laughing so hard , that none of us noticed > Rosie went around the deck and came back in through the front door and > went and hid behind the toilet. By now Bob is ready to pull out the gun > and kill her. He gets a spray bottle and sprays her with water until she > comes out from behind the toilet and he thinks he has accomplished > something big. Only the dog comes out of the bathroom and goes down the > hall and hides in our closet. Now Bob is really nuts, we are still > laughing about how the dog whisperer never has this problem. He snatches > the dog by the collar again and drags her down the hall, you could here > her toenails scratching the hardwood floor, area rugs rolled up! > into balls , the dog reaching out for door jams and anything ! > that cou > ld delay her trip outside to thunder and lightning. the dog is hanging on > to the leg of the butcher block, finally out she goes. We are still > laughing. > > We took the kids to the fair and 10 year old grand daughter Alix saw a > shirt that said "Free your monkey, Go Commando" On the way home, she > asked Jill what that meant, Jill looks over at me and says "go for it". I > told her sometimes (mostly always) men or boys name their private parts > and evidently his was called a monkey. She already knew what going > commando was. Alix looked at me with such a look as if to say, "WHAT?" > They name their private parts? Alix says, "you mean they just wake up > some morning go to the bathroom, look down and say, Good morning, > Stanley?" I thought we would die laughing. 7 year old Grandson Max > was playing his game boy not paying any attention to us, we think, When in > a loud voice without even looking up from his gameboy , he yells, '"GOOD > MORNING, STAN-LEE". (just like Good Morning, Viet-Nam from the movie ) I > looked at Jill and we are still laughing and I said ," Maybe there are > some conversations we shouldn't have with kids." > > We also had some exciting ball games this year, Rick coaches his daughter > Taylor's softball team and we played a softball tournament in Marysville > and Marysville went berserk when a call went against them and we won the > game. An interference with the runner was called on the daughter of > Marysville manager to give us the game. The coaches came out of the dug > out and went nuts, called the umpire all kinds of names. The manager, a > woman, was so mad at the umpire for making that call against her daughter, > that she went after him. her coach had to restrain her, he picked her > around the waist and her arms and feet were waving and kicking. Another > coach took off after the umpire and my son in law and another guy had to > hold the gate closed to keep him from getting off the field. Then 6 > police cars came from roads unbeknownst to man, with sirens blaring and > lights flashing, and surrounded the ball field. Rick and the manager > Skip were sitting in the dug out with the girls! > , just watching all this. The had those little smiles on their faces as > if to say, "Well at least WE didn't start the fracas!" The umpire walks > over to the dug out and says, "are you the home team?", "Yes, we are", > they say. "You have just won the game", says the umpire. The police > escorted our girls from the dug out safely and me, not being the run of > the mill baseball spectator, grabbed my daughter in law's camera and > starting taking shots of cop cars, flashing lights and a brawl in front of > the snack bar. It was great! best ball game I have been to all year! But, > then again that is just me. Oh and Rick coached is son's baseball team > and was kicked out of the tournament of champions first game for > questioning the umpire about a foul ball call. He was kicked out of the > ball field and had to coach via cell phone until the umpire got wise to > that. He threatened to throw all of the coaches out if they didn't get > off the cell phone. Love baseball season. > > A few weeks ago we spent the week end in Reno for grandson Jace's and > nephew's Jimmy Heryford's wrestling tourament, Jimmy (6 years old) won > first place in the 43 pounders. man that was long week end. Sat for 16 > hours in the Reno Livestock Events Center. They have mostly Rodeo's in > there I think, as soon as you walk in, you can just smell that tall skinny > cowboy in skin tight wranglers, with that snap button shirt that with > one pull ...... oh, pardon me, just an old woman trying to jog her memory. > > I better quit before this gets too long. Just wanted to mention the > Chinese. Why don't we feel that China might be a terrorists threat? they > have added antifreeze to our toothpaste, poisoned our dog food, put lead > in children's jewelry and sidewalk chalk. and toys. some where out there, > is a Sponge Bob Lead pants that some one is getting for Christmas. The > Chinese you gotta love them, they lower our resistance before they attack > us. Toxic Chinese Toothpaste, a great name for a punk rock band. > > Did you ever put on a coat or a pair of pants and wonder where you wore > them last? well just put your hand into the pocket, if you are like me > you will pull out all kinds of stuff. I put on my winter coat the other > day and found out a year ago I had chapped lips, a rash that required a > prescription ointment a tic tac and a half a stick of gum, but I did find > 2 one dollar bills. In tried on a pair if pants to wear to a funeral and > wondered where I wore them last, pulled a show stub for " Bridge over > Teribitha" on Feb. 16th 2006. > > O.K. enough of all this, hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy > New Year. > > Dianne, > > > > > > Dianne Heryford > EarthLink Revolves Around You. > > ------------------------------- > To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to > ARMSTRONG-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the > quotes in the subject and the body of the message > >