Thanks, Harold! That was funny!! :) At 11:13 PM 1/27/2014, you wrote: >May I interrupt for a moment with a bit of levity???? > >Someone sent me this just now and I identified with with much of it.... > >Perhaps some of you?...... no!!.......Surely not!!! > > > > > > > THE MORE YOU READ THE FUNNIER IT GETS......COULDN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY. > $5.37! > That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. > I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. > Having already handed the > kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change > when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. > He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." > > I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. > "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. > > I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? > A mere child! > Senior citizen? > > I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. > Was he blind? > As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. > Old? Me? > > I'll show him, I thought. > I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, > and there he was waiting with a smile. > > Before I could say a word, he held up something > and jingled it in front of me, > like I could be that easily distracted! > What am I now? > A toddler? > > "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" > I stared with utter disdain at the keys. > I began to rationalize in my mind! > > > "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! > It could happen to anyone!" > > I turned and headed back to the truck. > I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. > What now? > I checked my keys and tried another. > Still nothing. > > That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. > I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. > > Then, a few other objects came into focus: > The car seat in the back seat. > Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. > A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard. > > Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. > > Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, > relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. > That is when I > felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! > My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, > only it was nowhere to be found. > > I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, > and strode back into the restaurant one final time. > There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. > All I could think was, > "What is the world coming to?" > > All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? > At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, > and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. > > Elmo had no clue. > I walked back out to the truck, > and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. > He was holding up a drink and a bag. > His mother explained, > "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." > > I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. > > She offered these kind words: > "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." > > All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. > Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. > And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. > > As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. > I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. > I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey. > > The good news was that I had successfully found my way home. > > Pass this on to the other "old fogies" on your list (so they can have fun laughing, too). > > Notice the larger type? > That's for those of us who have trouble reading. > > P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!! > > > Oops, did I send this to you already? > > > > > > >------------------------------- >To unsubscribe from the list, please send an email to ARIZARD-request@rootsweb.com with the word 'unsubscribe' without the quotes in the subject and the body of the message