Joan I had a session with aol on live help. It was so moronic I want to share it Can I send it to the list or is that against the rules about writers privilage or something. Even better I will send it to you because I dont want to get in trouble with writers privilage or something and you can see what it is. If you say its okey Ema **************Looking for simple solutions to your real-life financial challenges? Check out WalletPop for the latest news and information, tips and calculators. (http://www.walletpop.com/?NCID=emlcntuswall00000001)
Ema, Most AOL users who have used that "service" already can guess examples of the "flow" of the conversation. They FINALLY come and say hi, my name is ___, sorry for the delay, are you using the computer now with the problem. (User tries to not explode about waiting 44.3 minutes and answers the question, "yes, I'm on the computer with the problem".) They: How may I help you? User: Tries to figure out the fastest way to explain the problem & types fast. They: ------- never reply....you wait....they're seemingly 'gone' but still 'there' User: Hello? are you there? They: FINALLY they answer you (but never say why it took so long to answer you). "I'm sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused you." (No, it's never good if the AOL software crashes, explodes, and burns up - lol). "I will give you the steps to fix the problem. Do you want the steps?" User: (gee wiz, of course I want the steps!) "Yes." They: (sending another macro) Go to Tools> Internet Options> Delete Temporary Files. Let me know when you have finished." User: "Well, I already DID that (before the AOL software crashed, exploded, burned).... What ELSE can I do to fix it?" (and now....you wait and wait and WAIT again for any acknowledgement) (still no answer) User: Hello??? Are you there? (can be 5 minutes in between or longer) They: "I am sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you. Now, delete your temporary Internet Files" User: First, I already DID that before I asked for help. And, there's ZERO temp files there. So, NOW what's next to do?" They: "I am sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you. I can fix your problem. Very speedily. We will fix this. Okay?" User: "Okay. But, I really have to go. So can we hurry up -- please!" They: "This can be fixed very easily under Preferences. Please open Preferences." User: "I've been to Preferences... and to Settings... it doesn't say what to do if your AOL Software explodes." They: (only a 2 minute delay this time) "I am sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you. I will send you steps in an email to follow. Please let me know when you have finished those steps." User: (maybe now I'm getting somewhere, you think). Ok. (You finally hear the mail come and eagerly go open it.) "Uh, Tech (some name you can't pronounce or type), your email just gives the same steps for what we already did. PLEASE, my software exploded but it lets me sign in, but I just have this one problem: It now laughs at me everytime I sign in." They: "I am sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you. I can certainly help you fix that problem. Go to Control Panel>Sounds and Audio Devices>Exorcise buggy sounds. And that will make the software stop laughing at you when you sign in." User: (Wow, NEW instructions I've never tried!) "Ok, great. brb" User: (after looking all through Control Panel) "Uh, I don't have a button for "exorcise". WHERE do I go?" They: (don't answer you for 7.9 minutes) "I am truely sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you. I can help you fix this. Look instead for "Exorcise2" button." User: "But I don't have an exorcise1, exorise2, or exorcise3 button---I have NO exocise-anything!" They: " I apologize for the inconvenience." User (thinks: yeah YOU are the 'inconvenience!') They: "It appears you are using WinXP which does not have Advanced tool of Exorcise which AOL software now must make use of to clear this problem. We will now need to play every sound file you have to find the "laff.wav" which AOL installed with the latest and greatest update of our software." User: I need to PLAY all my sound files? They: Yes, play each one. User: BUT, I gotta go to work and playing sounds will take HOURS. They: "I am most sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you. It appears your software has become corruptted. To fix this problem, (and now you get many lines of how to uninstall). Next, make a bonfire outside and burn all the CDs you have." User: "But---if I burn all the software CDs, how will I reload the software after I uninstall it???" They: "Not to worry. I will give you instructions to download the software. First, (and now they tell you to disable and delete Internet Explorer...and any other way to get online....so you won't be able to download anything. But that doesn't phase them--they continue to say 'I am sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you. I can tell you how to fix that. Would you like me to help you with this?') User types: Of course I want your help to fix this! I'm not here to order breakfast!!! They: I will give you the instructions now. Go to Tools> Internet Options> Delete Temporary Internet Files. User: (and at this point, you scream and put your fist through your monitor! Problem solved! You don't need to worry anymore about using your computer at all .... And, you have at least 1 nightmare of that mocking statement: "I am sorry for any inconvenience this problem has caused to you.") Is that kinda close to your experience, Ema? LOL Judy On 9/21/08, [email protected] <[email protected]> wrote: > Joan > I had a session with aol on live help. > It was so moronic I want to share it > Can I send it to the list or is that against the rules > about writers privilage or something. Even better I will send it to you > because I dont want to get in trouble with writers privilage or something > and you can see what it is. If you say its okey > Ema