Hello Simone, I have to agree with Ruth, send the letters. However, this does highlight a dilemma we genealogists and family historians face. As far as I know, there are no hard and fast rules about what to do and what not to do when it comes to 'sensitive' information, both of the substantiated kind i.e., through documents etc., and the unsubstantiated kind i.e., family oral stories. But, I do believe we have to consider ethics and morals. For instance, in my own family, I have found an elderly cousin of my Mother. By chance we visited him after learning about his 'still' existence when exploring the local churchyard for graves. A 'busy bee' was underway by some of the parishioners, they told us about Mum's cousin and we subsequently visited. This was an experience I will never forget, so poignant and heartwarming to see these two elderly cousins recognize each other and then exchange stories. I later returned to interview the 'refound' cousin. By then I knew all about his family through documents and of course Mother's stories. I had found out his own mother was illegitimate and that there was some query about what name she and her Mother had used. I carefully questioned 'refound' cousin about his Mother and her Mother (his grandmother with whom he had quite a bit to do with), without revealing what I knew. I decided that it would not be moral of me to produce his Mother's birth certificate and point out that the surname he had for her was not correct. I also thought it would not be within the ethics of any family historian to deliberately reveal information when, after careful questioning, it was obvious he would have been distressed at what I could have revealed. Besides, I had the distinct feeling he knew anyway, but, given his lifestyle and his gentlemanly English ways, the whole issue was simply not an issue. But, and there's always a but, eh! I have stories and documents about others in the family who are two generations back. I have revealed the information to my cousins and others in the family and we feel that the events happened far enough back in time and no living relative is directly involved. We, therefore, see it as adding interest to the family story. This is a long winded response Simone and Ruth, but it does illustrate that I have drawn some lines to guide me. On a more official note, as an archivist, I am aware that Legislation is being 'formed', discussed and disected in some countries/states/counties/provinces etc., which focusses on private records/archives. It is a 'minefield' to put it mildly. How far can a government go I ask! I don't want to really use this List as a forum for this side of things. Thank you for bearing with me in this message and I would be interested to know how others manage sensitive information, either documented or otherwise? In the meantime Simone, go for it! Cheers, Diane -----Original Message----- From: Ruth [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Monday, April 29, 2002 11:05 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [Anglo-Italian] Fw: Bettua - Bagnoli Simone, Go ahead and send the letters. The only thing that can happen is that they don't reply but what if they do? Ruth ----- Original Message ----- From: <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Monday, April 29, 2002 7:31 PM Subject: Re: [Anglo-Italian] Fw: Bettua - Bagnoli > Re writing to Italy. > I also have composed a letter but haven't yet sent it. > My Great Grandparents allegedly eloped to this country, I have since been > told that this would have brought great shame on their families and I am > concerned that I will be bringing up a past piece of history that would cause > bad feelings even after this amount of time. > > Simone > > > > > ==== ANGLO-ITALIAN Mailing List ==== > Inaugural Meeting of the Anglo-Italian Family History > At the SOG Fair at 3pm For the venue address look at > http://www.dreamwater.net/anglersrest/Italian.htm > > ============================== > To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: > http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237 > > ==== ANGLO-ITALIAN Mailing List ==== Inaugural Meeting of the Anglo-Italian Family History At the SOG Fair at 3pm For the venue address look at http://www.dreamwater.net/anglersrest/Italian.htm ============================== To join Ancestry.com and access our 1.2 billion online genealogy records, go to: http://www.ancestry.com/rd/redir.asp?targetid=571&sourceid=1237