Hi everyone, I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to do this. For one, I'm comfortable with the computer, and it's unfortunately replaced phone conversations for the most part. So I'm having a little more nervous bouts when making phone calls than I did, say 10 years ago. These folks don't have email or facebook, myspace, whatever those sites are (not that I've found), so I'm stuck with either letter writing or phone calls. I'm thinking if I write a letter, it's the kind of thing that can be procrastinated, and I'll always wonder (if they never get around to answering), so it looks like I'm stuck with the phone call. How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family member, and has anyone done this before? Approximately 7 years ago I made some calls around England to track some cousins, but I found that the English were quite friendly and helpful in telling me whether or not I had the right household when I made my calls. Somehow I was able to muster up the courage to make those calls, and now I'm not so sure I can do that anymore. Another thing is, with my Canadian accent my story of "I'm your cousin in Canada" holds a lot of water, but in the US where telemarketers are abundant and menacing, I'm not so sure I could convince people to talk to me south of the border. What do you think?

Sapphyre wrote: > How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family member, > and has anyone done this before? Like you I apppreciate letters rather than the phone (I'm a bit phone-phobic anyway, perhaps this influences my approach). I also like the idea of giving someone the "space", so to speak, of deciding whether he/she wants to respond or not. Recently I tracked down a third cousin via a defunct hotmail account. It pointed to a high-school alumni site where the webmaster was happy to post my note to him (including a brief mention of our common ancestor, how we were connected, our family website and my email contact). He's pretty blown away by all the family info. I'm just happy to have someone enthusiastic with whom to share our mutual history. And more recently I found another third cousin from a different branch via her sister's blog. Despite having been active in genealogy up to about 2002, with numerous posts on Rootsweb and ancestry.com seeking info, this cousin has not yet gotten in touch with me. Well, some interests come and go. Perhaps she's no longer into genealogy. Whenever I'm contacting folks, whether by email or handwritten letter, I try to make my note as brief as possible and give them the option of making further contact. In handwritten notes I've even included self-addressed stamped return envelopes. But if they don't write back, I drop it. ---- saki@ucla.edu http://sakionline.net/familypage

Sapphyre wrote: > Hi everyone, > > I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have > living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth > cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our > family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, > and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to > do this. > > For one, I'm comfortable with the computer, and it's unfortunately > replaced phone conversations for the most part. So I'm having a little > more nervous bouts when making phone calls than I did, say 10 years > ago. These folks don't have email or facebook, myspace, whatever those > sites are (not that I've found), so I'm stuck with either letter > writing or phone calls. > > I'm thinking if I write a letter, it's the kind of thing that can be > procrastinated, and I'll always wonder (if they never get around to > answering), so it looks like I'm stuck with the phone call. > > How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family member, > and has anyone done this before? Approximately 7 years ago I made some > calls around England to track some cousins, but I found that the > English were quite friendly and helpful in telling me whether or not I > had the right household when I made my calls. Somehow I was able to > muster up the courage to make those calls, and now I'm not so sure I > can do that anymore. Another thing is, with my Canadian accent my > story of "I'm your cousin in Canada" holds a lot of water, but in the > US where telemarketers are abundant and menacing, I'm not so sure I > could convince people to talk to me south of the border. > > What do you think? What ever it took for you to do it last time use those same tools ... You might only have this one chance. They will be happy to hear from you. Maybe they too are researching. I know I have found lots of cousins (my Dads father came from Essex, Ontario and was orphaned at a young age) but I had cousins who were in Michigan and were able to confirm the relations. Do it, you can!! Let me know the outcome. We always feel self conscious about these things but afterwards I always think wow that was easy. You can do it. Sincerely, Margaret Paquette

Sapphyre <sapphyre_66@yahoo.com> wrote in news:d19c0b61-eece-48dc-88d3-acdb7022ec2a@w47g2000hsa.googlegroup s.com: > > How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family > member, and has anyone done this before? Yes - I've discovered several cousins online. Email has been acceptable so far. Who did I find? -Grandchildren of my great-grandmother's half brother, who provided a portrait of those siblings'mutual grandfather. -Great-great grandchildren of my great-great grandfather's brother, who had pictures of my GGgrandfather and his second wife, which we didn't have, and I had some information they didn't have. -The grandson of my great-grandfather's brother, who still has Great Uncle Sam's barber chair. -A cousin descended from a unique family tie: a brother and a sister married a sister and a brother. Her great-great grandfather was my great-great grandmother's brother, and her great-great grandmother was my great-great grandfather's sister. -A family with the same surname: their ancestor came over and stayed with an uncle, who was a baker. To tie it up, a cousin has a trunk she inherited from our g-g-grandfather, a baker, and it had our surname but the first name of that other family's ancestor! Don't be a-feared. What's the worst that can happen? -- }:-) Christopher Jahn {:-( http://soflatheatre.blogspot.com/ Welcome to the Federal Bureau for Reducing Bureaucracy!

In article <d19c0b61-eece-48dc-88d3-acdb7022ec2a@w47g2000hsa.googlegroups.com>, Sapphyre <sapphyre_66@yahoo.com> wrote: > I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have > living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth > cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our > family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, > and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to > do this. Sapphyre- I also feel more comfortable at the computer, and recently happened across a couple of distant "lost" cousins doing Genealogical research by eMail. Considering what I would think if someone called me, it might be better if you wrote a letter. I would probably be polite to the caller, but most likely would resent the interruption of whatever I was doing. It wouldn't hurt to include a computer-generated family chart of some kind, that illustrated your relationship. Be sure to include your E-Mail address. Fred

I recently encountered this same situation when I confirmed by death certificates that my grandfather's youngest sister married and had a family. I debated about calling versus writing, and finally decided to write - I had the address from one of the family death certificates (my cousin's wife had provided the information for his brother's death certificate). When I wrote my cousin, I started by introducing myself and then went into how we were related. I let him know how I'd found him and his address, and informed him that I had more family information that I was willing to share. I then gave him my address, telephone number and e-mail, for him to contact me when he was ready. He ended up calling, and we had a great conversation - his mother had always thought that my grandfather had been dead for years (shot to death), and since I didn't know my grandfather, all I had to share were stories that my mother had told me. I then later sent him a more detailed family tree, and plan to send photographs to him as well. Whichever you choose, good luck! Cathy Sapphyre wrote: > Hi everyone, > > I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have > living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth > cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our > family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, > and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to > do this. > >

Sapphyre wrote: > Hi everyone, > > I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have > living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth > cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our > family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, > and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to > do this. > > For one, I'm comfortable with the computer, and it's unfortunately > replaced phone conversations for the most part. So I'm having a little > more nervous bouts when making phone calls than I did, say 10 years > ago. These folks don't have email or facebook, myspace, whatever those > sites are (not that I've found), so I'm stuck with either letter > writing or phone calls. > > I'm thinking if I write a letter, it's the kind of thing that can be > procrastinated, and I'll always wonder (if they never get around to > answering), so it looks like I'm stuck with the phone call. > > How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family member, > and has anyone done this before? Approximately 7 years ago I made some > calls around England to track some cousins, but I found that the > English were quite friendly and helpful in telling me whether or not I > had the right household when I made my calls. Somehow I was able to > muster up the courage to make those calls, and now I'm not so sure I > can do that anymore. Another thing is, with my Canadian accent my > story of "I'm your cousin in Canada" holds a lot of water, but in the > US where telemarketers are abundant and menacing, I'm not so sure I > could convince people to talk to me south of the border. > > What do you think? You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain so do they as well. Go at it with a positive outlook. Have relevant information handy so you can make each call meaningful for the recipient. Some will be helpful and some will not, some will not want to know and some will be over the moon with joy. Phone at a time that you are likely to catch them home. Give your phone number no telemarketer that I have come across has ever done that. You could say for example " Hi this Sapphyre Green I would like to speak to Billy Purple who I have reason to believe is a long lost cousin. Hi Billy would William John Patrick Purple by chance be related to you? Do you by chance know of William John Patrick Purple and if so how?" Yes this does work as I have used it myself. As you can see no mistaking this for a telemarketer and if you strike a Billy Purple that is not your relation then he may be able to point you in the correct direction or may even know him. Another approach is send a letter first saying that you intend to phone on a given day at say for example Wednesday the 2nd February 2008 at 19:00 ( 7pm ) So get too it and make those phone calls. The names above are all made up just to demonstrate a method that does work. David