On Mon, 31 Dec 2007 10:12:47 -0800 (PST), Sapphyre <sapphyre_66@yahoo.com> wrote: >Hi everyone, > >I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have >living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth >cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our >family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, >and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to >do this. > >For one, I'm comfortable with the computer, and it's unfortunately >replaced phone conversations for the most part. So I'm having a little >more nervous bouts when making phone calls than I did, say 10 years >ago. These folks don't have email or facebook, myspace, whatever those >sites are (not that I've found), so I'm stuck with either letter >writing or phone calls. > >I'm thinking if I write a letter, it's the kind of thing that can be >procrastinated, and I'll always wonder (if they never get around to >answering), so it looks like I'm stuck with the phone call. > >How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family member, >and has anyone done this before? Approximately 7 years ago I made some >calls around England to track some cousins, but I found that the >English were quite friendly and helpful in telling me whether or not I >had the right household when I made my calls. Somehow I was able to >muster up the courage to make those calls, and now I'm not so sure I >can do that anymore. Another thing is, with my Canadian accent my >story of "I'm your cousin in Canada" holds a lot of water, but in the >US where telemarketers are abundant and menacing, I'm not so sure I >could convince people to talk to me south of the border. > >What do you think? I have much experience in this area. My motto is, "Beware of genealogists with unlimited long distance." I make "cold calls" to potential relatives. It sounds scary, and at first it was, but now it's easy and fun. I use ancestry.com's "find living people" feature to find would-be relatives, call them and explain what I'm doing. Here's what I've found: When calling, give as much information as possible about the ancestors. People are much more willing to believe you if you know what you're talking about. I start each conversation with, "Hi, my name is "insert name here" and I'm trying to trace the descendants of "insert ancestor's names here" and I'm wondering if perhaps we're related." Once I start to rattle off the names of their dead relatives, they're very excited and want to help. I've been so blessed to be able to find all the descendants of my great-grandfather! These are people I had no idea existed a year ago. Calling the first couple of people was hard, but after talking with them, it was so easy. Just as you discovered regarding your calls to England, people, once they know who you are and what you're doing, are very, very happy to hear from you and to help. I do not ask for the names of living individuals; ie: spouses, children. I tell them to only give me as much information as they're comfortable giving. In this age of identity theft, it's unwise to call and start asking for that type of information. Everyone I've talked to, and I've talked to over a dozen "strangers', has been very helpful and willing to share their information with me. I offer to send them, at my expense, copies of the information I've gathered so far. This is a big hit. The people I've talked to are very excited about what I've been able to find so far and can't wait to get my packages... Which brings me to my own personal dilemma. How does one make the information available in a form that does not bore the average person who just really wants the pertinent information on themselves, their parents and grandparents? My research involves gathering information on every descendant of an ancestor, not just on the descendants of my own personal line. I want to know the families of all siblings, the in-laws, the whole complete line. But that makes for a LOT of information for someone to wade through. My theory is that there is usually one person in each generation who is "into" genealogy. Knowing every member of a family greatly increases your chance of making connections and breaking through brick walls. It's worked extremely well for me in that I've been able to trace many ancestors that were for many years brick walls. Be prepared to send what you've promised. If you say you're going to send a genealogy packet, send one. I include my full name, phone number, address and the address of my genealogy website. I also ask that if they find any errors or have information that I haven't included, to please let me know. Many have sent me back corrections and even copies of photos. I am so grateful for the photos! To put faces to the names I've been working on is a magical experience. So my advice is to call. And wouldn't it be wonderful if I got a call from YOU?? I've ancestors from Canada and they remain my hardest to track. (You don't happen to have any Lemons in your family tree, do you?) ;) Denise

On Dec 31 2007, 8:38 pm, arethusa <den...@onlyaret.net> wrote: > On Mon, 31 Dec 2007 10:12:47 -0800 (PST), Sapphyre > > > > > > <sapphyre...@yahoo.com> wrote: > >Hi everyone, > > >I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have > >living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth > >cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our > >family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, > >and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to > >do this. > > >For one, I'm comfortable with the computer, and it's unfortunately > >replaced phone conversations for the most part. So I'm having a little > >more nervous bouts when making phone calls than I did, say 10 years > >ago. These folks don't have email or facebook, myspace, whatever those > >sites are (not that I've found), so I'm stuck with either letter > >writing or phone calls. > > >I'm thinking if I write a letter, it's the kind of thing that can be > >procrastinated, and I'll always wonder (if they never get around to > >answering), so it looks like I'm stuck with the phone call. > > >How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family member, > >and has anyone done this before? Approximately 7 years ago I made some > >calls around England to track some cousins, but I found that the > >English were quite friendly and helpful in telling me whether or not I > >had the right household when I made my calls. Somehow I was able to > >muster up the courage to make those calls, and now I'm not so sure I > >can do that anymore. Another thing is, with my Canadian accent my > >story of "I'm your cousin in Canada" holds a lot of water, but in the > >US where telemarketers are abundant and menacing, I'm not so sure I > >could convince people to talk to me south of the border. > > >What do you think? > > I have much experience in this area.  My motto is, "Beware of > genealogists with unlimited long distance."  I make "cold calls" to > potential relatives.  It sounds scary, and at first it was, but now > it's easy and fun.  I use ancestry.com's "find living people" feature > to find would-be relatives, call them and explain what I'm doing. > > Here's what I've found: > > When calling, give as much information as possible about the > ancestors.  People are much more willing to believe you if you know > what you're talking about.  I start each conversation with, "Hi, my > name is "insert name here" and I'm trying to trace the descendants of > "insert ancestor's names here" and I'm wondering if perhaps we're > related."  Once I start to rattle off the names of their dead > relatives, they're very excited and want to help.  I've been so > blessed to be able to find all the descendants of my > great-grandfather!  These are people I had no idea existed a year ago. > Calling the first couple of people was hard, but after talking with > them, it was so easy.  Just as you discovered regarding your calls to > England, people, once they know who you are and what you're doing, are > very, very happy to hear from you and to help.   > > I do not ask for the names of living individuals; ie: spouses, > children.  I tell them to only give me as much information as they're > comfortable giving.  In this age of identity theft, it's unwise to > call and start asking for that type of information.  Everyone I've > talked to, and I've talked to over a dozen "strangers', has been very > helpful and willing to share their information with me.   > > I offer to send them, at my expense, copies of the information I've > gathered so far.  This is a big hit.  The people I've talked to are > very excited about what I've been able to find so far and can't wait > to get my packages... > > Which brings me to my own personal dilemma.  How does one make the > information available in a form that does not bore the average person > who just really wants the pertinent information on themselves, their > parents and grandparents?  My research involves gathering information > on every descendant of an ancestor, not just on the descendants of my > own personal line.  I want to know the families of all siblings, the > in-laws, the whole complete line.  But that makes for a LOT of > information for someone to wade through.  My theory is that there is > usually one person in each generation who is "into" genealogy. Knowing > every member of a family greatly increases your chance of making > connections and breaking through brick walls.  It's worked extremely > well for me in that I've been able to trace many ancestors that were > for many years brick walls.   > > Be prepared to send what you've promised.  If you say you're going to > send a genealogy packet, send one.  I include my full name, phone > number, address and the address of my genealogy website.  I also ask > that if they find any errors or have information that I haven't > included, to please let me know.  Many have sent me back corrections > and even copies of photos.  I am so grateful for the photos!  To put > faces to the names I've been working on is a magical experience. > > So my advice is to call.  And wouldn't it be wonderful if I got a call > from YOU??  I've ancestors from Canada and they remain my hardest to > track.  (You don't happen to have any Lemons in your family tree, do > you?)  ;) > > Denise- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - Hi Denise, Thanks for your insightful response on phone calls. The reason I'm leaning towards this being the most practical, is for one, I can't be 100% sure the person I'm contacting is the right person (or the address is still good). I do have multiple addresses for the same person, but I'm sure they're related somehow. I have managed to get information on living people without too much problem, but that either came from relatives who knew me (because I knew their parents who are cousins of my grandfather), or it came from England. Mind you I didn't bother my English relatives with too many questions, so the information is only half complete (names and birthdays only) and I didn't fill in much on the other branch of the family tree (the spouse's side) so much because I was trying to not intrude. The good news is, today I discovered an obituary for a relative that I knew died in either Georgia or Florida (she had homes in both places, but I wasn't sure where she died). A death notice was printed in an Alabama newspaper and the funeral home has it online, so the google of that name brought up her death notice. Too bad the obituary provided no useful information other than the place of death, and her maiden name. No Lemons in my family, sorry to say. I'd give you advice on where to look in Canada, but I'm well versed only in Ontario, and my paper trail dies off around 1934 since that's the most recent of any records that we have. We have death records in BC up until 1979, and Quebec until I think 1985 (but they are on microfiche at the Quebec Archives), there are marriage records for Quebec too, but these "records" don't provide much information. In other words, if you don't already know what you're looking for, you might not find it. Two cousins of mine were institutionalized as children (fatal childhood illness), and they died in the institution after my aunt left the province. She didn't know when they died, or how long they lived because she couldn't handle watching her two babies die. I managed to get the dates and slip them in my research without upsetting anyone. S.

arethusa wrote: > So my advice is to call. And wouldn't it be wonderful if I got a call > from YOU?? I've ancestors from Canada and they remain my hardest to > track. (You don't happen to have any Lemons in your family tree, do > you?) ;) Of course we do, but not by that last name. -- I never could pass up a good straight line...