On Mon, 31 Dec 2007 19:38:44 -0600, arethusa <denise@onlyaret.net> wrote: >On Mon, 31 Dec 2007 10:12:47 -0800 (PST), Sapphyre ><sapphyre_66@yahoo.com> wrote: > >>Hi everyone, >> >>I've come across a bit of a snag in my research. It seems that I have >>living cousins in the US that are distantly related (like fourth >>cousins or something), and it's highly likely they know nothing of our >>family in Canada. I was able to track these folks down by pure luck, >>and I'm thinking of getting in touch, but I don't know the best way to >>do this. >> >>For one, I'm comfortable with the computer, and it's unfortunately >>replaced phone conversations for the most part. So I'm having a little >>more nervous bouts when making phone calls than I did, say 10 years >>ago. These folks don't have email or facebook, myspace, whatever those >>sites are (not that I've found), so I'm stuck with either letter >>writing or phone calls. >> >>I'm thinking if I write a letter, it's the kind of thing that can be >>procrastinated, and I'll always wonder (if they never get around to >>answering), so it looks like I'm stuck with the phone call. >> >>How do you go about introducing yourself as a long lost family member, >>and has anyone done this before? Approximately 7 years ago I made some >>calls around England to track some cousins, but I found that the >>English were quite friendly and helpful in telling me whether or not I >>had the right household when I made my calls. Somehow I was able to >>muster up the courage to make those calls, and now I'm not so sure I >>can do that anymore. Another thing is, with my Canadian accent my >>story of "I'm your cousin in Canada" holds a lot of water, but in the >>US where telemarketers are abundant and menacing, I'm not so sure I >>could convince people to talk to me south of the border. >> >>What do you think? > >I have much experience in this area. My motto is, "Beware of >genealogists with unlimited long distance." I make "cold calls" to >potential relatives. It sounds scary, and at first it was, but now >it's easy and fun. I use ancestry.com's "find living people" feature >to find would-be relatives, call them and explain what I'm doing. > >Here's what I've found: > >When calling, give as much information as possible about the >ancestors. People are much more willing to believe you if you know >what you're talking about. I start each conversation with, "Hi, my >name is "insert name here" and I'm trying to trace the descendants of >"insert ancestor's names here" and I'm wondering if perhaps we're >related." Once I start to rattle off the names of their dead >relatives, they're very excited and want to help. I've been so >blessed to be able to find all the descendants of my >great-grandfather! These are people I had no idea existed a year ago. >Calling the first couple of people was hard, but after talking with >them, it was so easy. Just as you discovered regarding your calls to >England, people, once they know who you are and what you're doing, are >very, very happy to hear from you and to help. > >I do not ask for the names of living individuals; ie: spouses, >children. I tell them to only give me as much information as they're >comfortable giving. In this age of identity theft, it's unwise to >call and start asking for that type of information. Everyone I've >talked to, and I've talked to over a dozen "strangers', has been very >helpful and willing to share their information with me. > >I offer to send them, at my expense, copies of the information I've >gathered so far. This is a big hit. The people I've talked to are >very excited about what I've been able to find so far and can't wait >to get my packages... > >Which brings me to my own personal dilemma. How does one make the >information available in a form that does not bore the average person >who just really wants the pertinent information on themselves, their >parents and grandparents? My research involves gathering information >on every descendant of an ancestor, not just on the descendants of my >own personal line. I want to know the families of all siblings, the >in-laws, the whole complete line. But that makes for a LOT of >information for someone to wade through. My theory is that there is >usually one person in each generation who is "into" genealogy. Knowing >every member of a family greatly increases your chance of making >connections and breaking through brick walls. It's worked extremely >well for me in that I've been able to trace many ancestors that were >for many years brick walls. > >Be prepared to send what you've promised. If you say you're going to >send a genealogy packet, send one. I include my full name, phone >number, address and the address of my genealogy website. I also ask >that if they find any errors or have information that I haven't >included, to please let me know. Many have sent me back corrections >and even copies of photos. I am so grateful for the photos! To put >faces to the names I've been working on is a magical experience. > >So my advice is to call. And wouldn't it be wonderful if I got a call >from YOU?? I've ancestors from Canada and they remain my hardest to >track. (You don't happen to have any Lemons in your family tree, do >you?) ;) > >Denise I had a cousin who married a man named Lemmon (they spell it with two m's not one). What part of Canada were your ancestors from, and what time period? -- Jane