Dear Phyllis, Don't apologize for your feelings. When we lose our older relatives, no matter how old we are, it leaves us with a sense of loneliness. They told us what we were like when we were small, knew our secrets, and kissed us to make it better when we hurt. A part of yourself is gone, and you will grieve over that. I hope you also have many happy memories of her, and that they will bring you comfort. You will be in our prayers. God bless you. God bless America!